Elaborate gowns and hoop skirts, along with military uniforms, moved in unison to the strains of fiddle, banjo, and string bass music inside the large auditorium of the Douglas County Fairgrounds, signaling a return of the Civil War for one January evening in Colorado. Only this time, it was much more civil than war. It was the 5th Annual Homeschool Civil War Ball, and well over 400 participants enjoyed every minute of the formal proceedings. For about 350 teens, as well as numerous parents, it was a way to have a great time in a family-friendly atmosphere minus the MTV-style hype and histrionics often found in today’s adolescent school dances.
It all started as the brainstorm of a High School junior.

“Early in High School, I was wanting a dance for homeschoolers to have,” remembered Patrick McKay on the topic. Patrick is from Parker, Colorado and attends college in Virginia, but he was happy to relate the event’s germination by phone. “I was thinking of organizing a homeschool prom, but my mom didn’t want me to do that,” he added with a laugh, before continuing about how he dreamed up the whole shebang. “Years earlier, I had read a fiction series set in the Civil War time period. I liked how it romanticized the dances and social settings. That appealed to me.”

It wasn’t the only thing appealing to the 16-year-old.

“He wanted to dance with cute girls, so he thought this would be a great way to do that,” revealed his mother, Ronnie McKay, who has coordinated the balls since their inception five years ago. “When he was Junior High age, we had participated in some Civil War re-enactments. The man who organized them, Darrell Osburn, mentioned he also did Civil War Balls. Years later, when Patrick decided he wanted to dance with cute girls, he called up Darrell to set it up.”

Patrick soon discovered his idea struck a chord in the homeschooling community. Needing 50 people to sign up the initial year in order to break even on expenses, he was inundated with 198 registrations. The dance was moved to the larger fairground accommodations the next year, with registrations capped at 432 for the last several balls along with an annual budget of $15,000.

“The Civil War Balls are an opportunity to get together and dance in a good social environment,” explained Patrick about the unexpected demand. “You can have the fun of a dance in a pseudo-romantic and wholesome atmosphere.”

The balls operate under Civil War era manners and etiquette, which de-emphasized bringing a romantic “date” to the historical soiree’. Gentleman were expected to dance with many different ladies throughout the evening, making a point to ensure none who were ready and willing to dance were left on the side to be “wallflowers.” Ladies were not to refuse a gentleman’s offer and then accept another for the same dance unless it was previously promised. The historical social customs regarding touch and interaction between the sexes are also in play for the evening. Translating that etiquette to modern times seems to take pressure off teens that want to socialize and dance but are leery of rejection and exclusion.

“It’s a comfortable environment,” said Lauryn Vandenend, a 17-year-old junior from Parker. “You don’t have to worry about being excluded. It’s a homeschool version of a prom, but without the creepy, dumb High School stuff to deal with,” she added with a laugh. “It’s very fun. Every year, I forget how much fun it was. I like all of it.”

“It’s a blast,” agreed her younger sister, Kelsye Vandenend. “I like the old time culture and the old dances.” While she liked the environment of the ball, 14-year-old Kelsye also enjoyed prepping for the dance. “It’s one of the best parts,” she said with excitement. “My grandma comes over and we look at dresses and pick one out. I will go next year for sure.”

“A lot of young ladies dream of dressing up in a fancy dress and going to a ball like this,” said Ronnie McKay. “The girls love it for the costumes and they spend all afternoon doing their hair in ringlets and getting all gussied up.”

“I like seeing how happy everybody is at the ball,” observed Darrell Osburn, whose company supplies uniforms, dance/etiquette instruction, and the band for the affair.

Osburn not only helps make the balls possible, he also plays in the band, which gives him a unique angle of all the action. “I look out from the stage and see a face full of teeth,” he described of all the cheerful expressions occurring out on the dance floor. “A lot of boys don’t think it’s going to be cool until they actually do it. And the ladies look so elegant and feminine in their gowns and hoop skirts. When they come to the balls after spending all that time on their dresses and hair, that’s impressive.”

On top of the fun, old time atmosphere, costumes, and traditional music and dances is the benefit of a family-inclusive format. Parents are proud to escort daughters and sons and the teens don’t mind being seen with them, either.

“It’s great, said David Vandenend, dad to Lauryn and Kelsye. “It’s a bunch of great kids getting together and having a good time. The parents get to get together with their girls or boys. It’s just real good, clean fun,” he said with a smile. “And my girls love coming with dad. That’s neat.”

“I don’t mind coming with my dad at all,” concurred the eldest Vandenend daughter. “I think I stepped on my own dress more than he stepped on my feet.”

When it is all said and done for the year, the near 500 participants let organizers know what a good time was had by all.

“A lot of people send thank-you cards and e-mails,” stated Ronnie McKay. “They just love it. It’s a little bit of manners and teaching etiquette as well as teaching dances. It’s such clean fun.”

“I think it’s amazing what it has become,” summed up Patrick McKay about the size and popularity of his humble idea. “It has turned into a huge, real tradition. It’s a neat legacy I get to leave.”

While having a ball seems to be common in a teenager’s life these days, having a Civil War Ball is something special.

For information on participating in Civil War era re-enactments and balls, go to Darrell Osburn’s website: <ref http://www.youcanlivehistory.com>;www.youcanlivehistory.com. *</ref>