by Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.
April 9, 2008

Gentle readers, I am going to take you back a few years and try to give my cowboy rendition of an old country and western song. Here goes:

Put another log on the fire,
maybe cook me upsome bacon and some beans.
Fetch me my pipe and my slippers,
then maybe iron my new shirt and jeans.

Now don’t I let ya shoe all my ponies,
even let ya gut and clean my fish.
You never hear me complainin’
when you screw up my favorite dish.

Don’t I always let ya fix the fences,
’cause yer really good at stretchin’ wire,
bet ya can’t recall the last time I butted in
when you were fixin’ a tractor tire!

Surely, you know I must love you,
heck, I let ya doctor for screw worms,
then ya get to preg check all the heifers,
and keep the bathroom free of germs.

Just last week you climbed the windmill tower,
changed the oil and made it safely down.
Plus all that you got to neuter the cat,
and it’s only a month since
ya got to go to town.

So put another log on the fire,
change the channel on my new TV.
Light my pipe and scratch my back,
Tell me once again
Why yer LEAVIN’ ME!

Precious ladies, if you are a farm or a ranch wife and this applies to you, escape while you can and take his favorite dog with you! Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. ya.