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Mad Jack Hanks: Tales From the O-NO Ranch 2-25-13


Gentle readers I have touched on this subject a time or two about what words mean. If you will be so kind to bear with me I will retravel down a somewhat familiar road to some of you with a twist at the end.

Ah ha! Let me get started here. Some of you will remember a good many years ago in this column I wrote about the meaning of words. What do they really mean? Does mean mean that you are mean or you mean well. Now you have most likely latched onto my drift with that play on words. I went on in that particular column with some examples of how our language is structured and how confusing it might be to someone who was not familiar with it.

A few weeks after the column was published I received a call from a drug enforcement agent out in Virginia who asked my permission to use my column. As it turned out he was an instructor for not only DEA agents but FBI agents as well. One of the classes he taught was on interrogating suspects and what to look for in the way they answered. In other words, there are a number of ways that give clues according to how some folks place their words. At least that’s the way I understood his explanation. Anyhoo, of course, I gave him my permission and as a matter of fact I was pleasured to meet him and his sister who was also in law enforcement at the T Bar Inn for breakfast some years later.



Now to get up to date. The Sunday before Valentine’s Day I had finished my shift at the hospital and stopped at Wally World to buy flowers. It would have been Little Miss Martha’s 69th birthday had she lived and I wanted to place flowers on her grave. As I mulled over the vast variety of selections I noticed a feller next to me that seemed to also be having a problem on making a decision. I left for a little while and purchased some groceries and returned to find this same feller there. He put me in mind of a cross between Jr. Sample (Hee Haw) and Larry the Cable Guy. A mouth breather he was.

l spoke, “Looks like you and I can’t seem to make up our mind when it comes to buying flowers.”



He shot back, “Oh these #$%#$% women, ya have to buy ’um candy or flowers or jewelry seems like all the time. They are always expecting something!”

I should have left it alone but I just had to reply, “I’m on my way to the cemetery with mine, which way you headed?”

He seemed to have turned stone cold and looked down and away as if to make his final selection. I turned and walked away knowing full well that words have meaning and I was wondering if when he went home if he might have found some more cheerful words for his mate. I bet maybe he did.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c y’all, all y’all. ❖


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