Gwen Petersen
Big Timber, Mont.

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July 21, 2014
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Gwen Petersen: In a Sow’s Ear 7-21-14

In the play, “Older Than Dirt, the Musical,” most of the songs, poems and situations tend to reflect foibles and follies from the feminine point of view. But never let it be hinted that age-related vicissitudes happening to individuals of the male persuasion are ignored! The following demonstrates that Older Than Dirt is an equal opportunity spoof. (Tune: “Old folk song — Grammaw’s in the Cellar”)

Grampaw’s Courtin’ Grammaw

Grampaw’s courtin’ Grammaw

Lordy what a big squall

He’s making as he struts his stuff around

In his eye there is a twinkle

Just like storied Rip Van Winkle

And he whistles when he’s (whistle) courtin’ Grammaw.

Chorus ...

Courtin’ Gram (courtin’ Gram)

Courtin’ Gram (courtin’ Gram)

Oh, he whistles when he’s (whistle) courtin’ Grammaw

Hit the rewind! (spoken)

In his eye there is a twinkle

Just like storied Rip van Winkle

And he whistles when he’s (whistle) courtin’ Grammaw.

Grammaw likes this feller

Lordy, he’s a sweller

Wears a Stetson hat atop his old bald head

He’s an old-time cowboy

Once he was a pure joy

Kissed the gals at every country dance around.

Chorus ...

Courtin’ Gram (courtin’ Gram)

Courtin’ Gram (courtin’ Gram)

Oh, he whistles when he’s (whistle) courtin’ Grammaw

Hit the rewind! (spoken)

In his eye there is a twinkle

Just like storied Rip van Winkle

And he whistles when he’s (whistle) courtin’ Grammaw.

Now he’s pushin’ 80

Cruisin’ for a matey

To be close beside him in his golden years

Grammaw is a cutey

Still a rooty-tooty

She can cook and she can bake yummy pastry.

Chorus ...

Grampaw said, “Oh, Grammaw

Cutest thang I have saw,

You would make my final years a great big joy

I ain’t tryin’ to trick you

Ain’t talkin’ no voodoo

Let’s get hitched and you can make a bunch of pies.”

Chorus ...

Grammaw she grinned real wide

And heaved a heart-felt sigh

And smiled and said that she would think about it

She thought it all over

Said to her dog, Rover

I’m happy as I am, I don’t plan to wed.

Final chorus ...

No she ain’t (no she ain’t)

No she ain’t (no she ain’t)

Grammaw she ain’t gonna (no she ain’t!) get herself hitched!

Hit the rewind! (spoken)

In her eye there is a twinkle

Just like storied Rip van Winkle

Grammaw she ain’t gonna (no she ain’t!) get herself hitched! ❖


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The Fence Post Updated Jul 17, 2014 10:50AM Published Aug 4, 2014 02:04PM Copyright 2014 The Fence Post. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.