Gwen Petersen
Big Timber, Mont.

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August 4, 2014
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Gwen Petersen: In a Sow's Ear 8-4-14

Sasha and Sam own a summer camp located high up in a gorgeous wilderness area. In summer, as soon as most of the snow is gone, Sasha and Sam take guests up into the high country to camp, fish, ride, hike and generally become acquainted with the glory of Nature.

Sasha is also a writer and poet and we frequently trade bits of writing back and forth for editing purposes. Thanks to today’s amazing technology, we can exchange comments even if she’s horseback and herding dudes in the hills. Which is a long string of words to say that I emailed Sasha with a question about this week’s column.

“Hey, Sasha,” I wrote, “it’s time for another Tourien column.”

She responded with: “Tourien?”

“Yeah,” I shot back, “that’s tourist combined with alien equals Tourien. I’m writing my usual summer column about off-the-wall actions and hilarious misunderstandings perpetrated by newcomers, visitors, tourists and passing strangers. I’m thinking of making a ‘Top 10’ list of ways to recognize a Tourien. Any thoughts?”

She emailed back, “Just 10? How about these?”

Sasha’s Top Ten Ways to Recognize a Tourien:

■ Thinking cowboy hats are “quaint.”

■ Trying to feed gophers.

■ Wondering if they could fly between Montana towns as it’s too far to drive.

■ Stopping the car in the middle of the road, then jumping out to try to photograph a coyote because they think it’s a wolf.

■ Asking if the camp has “refrigeration.”

■ Asking why we made the creeks so winding.

■ Asking if there are any Indians left.

■ Asking where the nearest Lexus dealer is located.

■ Asking if the camp is really a Reality Show and are they being filmed?

And the Number One way to recognize a Tourien: “When they try to put their kids on a bear’s back for a photo op.”

As the feller said, if one is going to plagiarize, steal from the best! Thanks, Sasha. You’ve made this week’s column-writing super easy. ❖

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The Fence Post Updated Aug 1, 2014 09:11AM Published Aug 25, 2014 01:39PM Copyright 2014 The Fence Post. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.