Gwen Petersen
Big Timber, Mont.

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August 11, 2014
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Gwen Petersen: In a Sow’s Ear 8-11-14

Except for memory failure, body parts collapsing, inability to jog, jump or do the limbo, old age is a blast. People open doors for you, help you climb up steps, ramps and hillsides and address you as “Ma’am.”

My current blast effort is completing the manuscript to what will undoubtedly become a classic show (bragging rights come with advancing years). I’m speaking of “Older Than Dirt, the Musical.” So far I’ve got 22 songs — parodies and original tunes — on the subject of dotage. Not sad, not woe-is-me, not full of wise clichés — heck no. Older Than Dirt, the Musical is meant to entertain, evoke laughter, and celebrate that wondrous ride called: Life! The following is a parody. Read it, but don’t weep.

Onward Into the Fog ...

(Tune: Auld Lang Syne)

I started life at zero age,

Knew nothin’ much at all,

I couldn’t speak no languages;

Knew only how to bawl.

I grew and learned the rules of life,

I shouldn’t cheat or steal;

Explored the world, learned right from wrong,

And learned what’s false, what’s real.

Refrain:

Into the fog I go my dears

Into the fog I go

I’m travelin’ onward in the fog

Into the fog I go

In school I learned my ABC’s,

And then discovered boys;

My highschool days I’ve not forgot

For they were full of joys.

In college years I earned degrees

And started my career;

I chased my dreams; I fell in love

And shed romantic tears.

Into the fog I go my dears

Into the fog I go

I’m travelin’ onward in the fog

Into the fog I go

Had wedding bells; prioritized

My work and family;

I made it into middle age

With shaky sanity!

As onward through the fog I totter,

Senior moments flourish!

My mem-o-ry’s developed holes;

I purt near get discouraged!

Refrain:

I’ve lost some body parts, but hey,

Still among the livin’!

I’ve managed to survive my sins,

All misdeeds forgiven.

Too soon I’ll face that downhill slide,

I’ve gotta watch my step;

And when they bury me in dirt,

Ain’t comin’ back (oh, heck!)

Refrain:

I’ve used my talents up, my friends,

And soon I’ll have to go

To my final resting place,

Into the fog I go.

Come celebrate with me, my friends

When my time comes along,

And if you ain’t forgot me yet,

Do join me in this song!

Refrain:

Into the fog I go my dears

Into the fog I go

I’m travelin’ onward in the fog

Into the fog I go

TA-DA!! ❖


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The Fence Post Updated Aug 7, 2014 11:57AM Published Aug 25, 2014 01:49PM Copyright 2014 The Fence Post. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.