Milo Yield
Damphewmore Acres, Kan.

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August 25, 2014
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Milo Yield: Laugh Tracks in the Dust 8-18-14

I mentioned last week that the Chase County Fair has come and gone for 2014. I also mentioned that for the first time in more than 30 years, ol’ Nevah and I actually made some official entries in the fair.

Now, this week I’ll mention that our fair entry efforts were not in vain. Ol’ Nevah earned a grand championship purple ribbon for her framed needle-punch entry in the senior crafts division.

As for me, one plate of ol’ Milo Yield’s tomatoes earned the purple grand champion tomato ribbon; two other plates of tomatoes earned a blue ribbon, a plate of heirloom tomatoes got second place, as did my entry for heaviest tomato. My potatoes were champion spuds and my bell peppers got second place. Only my zucchini was squashed out of the ribbons.

Why, ol’ Nevah and I won so much prize money at the fair that we can’t decide to spend it on a trip to Disneyland, a cruise to Alaska, or on a couple of hamburgers at the Longhorn Cafe in Strong City.

I’ve mentioned before that getting older has both benefits and drawbacks. One of the benefits is that ol’ Nevah and me are now, in our dotage, comfortable with the summer thermostat in our home set at least 77 degrees, sometimes 78, and lots of evenings we’re comfortable just running the attic fan instead of the air conditioner.

I can remember, barely, when we were younger, we weren’t comfortable in the summer unless the thermostat. wuz set at 70-72 degrees. I don’t know how much electricity we’re saving, but it’s a bit.

But, of course, the offsetting drawback is that we require a much warmer temperature in our home in the winter — which requires more propane to keep us out of the “chilly” range.

Today we voted in the Kansas primary election. I voted for some incumbents, some newcomers, but my tendency wuz to vote for “term limit retirement” for folks as old or older than me. I know at 71, I wouldn’t have the energy to do all the things that need to be done legislatively in both in Topeka and Washington, D.C.

Since this column has somehow turned in an elderly direction, I want to share a warning e-mail that I received from a friend in Washington state.

She wrote:

“Milo, to help save the economy, the federal government soon will announce that Immigration and Customs Enforcement will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch, easier to disarm and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry when I thought of you. Then it dawned on me ... oh, shoot ... I’ll see you on the bus.”

Nevah and I are getting pretty well stocked up on home-canned goods for the winter. We’ve canned more than 80 pints of green beans and nearly 100 quarts of tomato juice, homemade V-8 juice, and “Hot Tom” juice from making salsa. Plus, we’ve canned more than 30 jars of salsa. Add to that a few jars of jellies and jams.

Plus, we’ve frozen more than 50 packages of sweet corn, a bunch of peppers of all sorts, and quite a few packages of broccoli. We’ll probably add a few packages of okra to that number in the coming weeks.

Now, the garden bean harvest has reached the dry bean shelling stage. I enjoy sitting around shelling dry beans as I watch TV. I’ll end up with several quarts to use for yummy ham and beans this winter.

Other than continuing to pick a lot of tomatoes to give to friends and family, my gardening effort is winding down for the year. I even took the temporary fence down from around the tomatoes so the chickens can eat a balanced diet of high protein grasshoppers and high vitamin tomatoes.

Last week, Nevah and I spent the week “doggie-sitting” with our “grand-dog” Sami. We kept her while her “family” wuz on a Rocky Mountain four-wheeler vacation near Pitkin, Colo.

We got along fine with Sami, but she sure wuz glad when her regular family returned to get her.

Okay, I’ll end up with another “elderly” joke,

An aging farm couple, having just been granted a divorce after decades feuding and fussing on their farm, met on the steps of the county court house.

The former wife says, “I hope you suffer horribly and die a slow agonizing death.”

The wizened former hubby retorts, “Oh, so now you want me back.”

Now that the primary election is over, here are a couple wise election quotes. James Freeman Clarke said, “A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.” And Otto von Bismarck said, “People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.” Wise indeed! Have a good ’un. ❖

Ol’ Nevah and I won so much prize money at the fair that we can’t decide to spend it on a trip to Disneyland, a cruise to Alaska, or on a couple of hamburgers at the Longhorn Cafe in Strong City.


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The Fence Post Updated Aug 14, 2014 01:50PM Published Sep 8, 2014 02:44PM Copyright 2014 The Fence Post. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.