Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Back to: Opinion
September 3, 2013
Follow Opinion

Mad Jack Hanks: Tales From The O-NO Ranch 9-2-13

Gentle readers, I surely should have known that I couldn’t just walk up to that ole gentle cow grazing beside the little stream peacefully and milk out that big teat so her frail calf could suck. I should have known that she would kick me three times before I could turn her loose. I should have!

I should have known that just because the Mexican cowboys down on the border rode out into that muddy bug filled pond and filled their sombreros with water and drank without repercussions that I could also. I couldn’t, I should have known. My gut hurt all night long.

I should have known that just because in every John Ford western movie every horse that jumped off into a flooded river could swim safely that my horse would. He didn’t and I could have drowned. Of course I didn’t.

I should have known not to stick a tissue up my bleeding nose in a high wind and then decide I could light my smoke without having a flameout. It burned my mustache nearly off and by the time I had beat it out with my gloved hand, I looked as if I had been in a forest fire. I should have known!

I should have known that just because that ole bronc decided he wasn’t going to unload from the trailer that I could just barley touch him with a hotshot and he would unload and stand still. Of course not, he ran a quarter mile away before I got him corraled again.

I should have known that ole Stretch, my big gentle hoss, would not allow me to let a steer get behind him and put a rope under his tail that he wouldn’t come unglued. He came unglued and bucked so hard he not only threw me off but he threw himself down and purt near knocked both of us silly! Is it just cowboy logic, stupidity, or over confidence? Couldn’t tell ya friend, I just know what happened and that I should have known!

As an aside, my 2014 Hoots calendars have arrived. You will see adds for them in October. However, if you want to place an order now, the calendars are $10.00 each and that’s signed, with postage paid. Two for $15.00 same deal and add $7.00 for each additional calendar. Cash or checks sent to Jack Hanks, P.O. Box 825 Wellington, Colo., 80549. My supply will be limited.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion, Ring the freedom bell, and I’ll c y’all, all y’all. ❖


Explore Related Articles

Trending in: Opinion

Trending Sitewide

The Fence Post Updated Oct 17, 2013 09:31AM Published Sep 16, 2013 12:28PM Copyright 2013 The Fence Post. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.