Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

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January 6, 2014
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Mad Jack Hanks: Tales From The O-NO Ranch 1-6-14

Gentle readers I received word on my dinosaur of a cell phone that it was out of date and would no longer be of service. I would have to go in and upgrade my phone in order for my provider to be able to service me.

Sooooo, I find myself in the shopping center with all the little nooks and crannies and yes, of course, there is the store I am looking for. I was somewhat taken back when I walked in. There was this long counter, much like you would see in an auto parts store with all of these folks lined up and waiting in lines to be taken care of. A feller approached me, took my name and assured me someone would be with me shortly. And he was. He was a big ole’ feller with a soft voice but looked as if he had been a cage fighter. I doubt it, but that’s the way he appeared to me. While he is taking care of me I noticed a “cowboy” looking character enter the store and it didn’t take him long to have everyone’s attention. He was mad and on the war path over a bill he had received. As it turned out he was given over to a fellow where he would be standing right beside me. He was giving his representative a really hard time and wanted everyone in the place to know that he was a rough and tough cowboy and he had this feller waiting on him almost shaking in his boots so to speak. The big feller waiting on me would cast him a glance once and again.

He got so loud, vulgar and threatening that everyone was looking in our direction This had gone on for a good 15 minutes and he says to the feller waiting on him, “You can quit shaking, I ain’t punched you yet!”

That about did it for me. I was finished and ready to leave but for some reason that part in the movie when Wyatt Earp, who is new in Tombstone, walks over to the loud mouth at the gambling table and slaps him across the face because he is so disruptive and obnoxious and loud came to mind. Now, gentle readers, by no stretch of the imagination was I ever, even thinking about slapping this feller who was much younger and looked as if he could handle himself if the occasion arose. I did place a firm hand on his shoulder and say, “Pard, you need to lighten up a bit ... it’s the Christmas season.”

I gotta tell ya, you could have heard a pin drop. I said that to him in a very non threatening way. He tuned to face me and quipped rather loudly, “YEAH, I KNOW ... BUT I HATE DEALING WITH SOME OF THESE #$%#$%&*% COMPANIES!”

I offered, “I know friend, we’ve all been there, but it is the holiday season and cowboys don’t act the way you’re acting right now!”

I stuck out my hand and told my name was Jack. He shook hands with me but didn’t make much eye contact. I squeezed his shoulder, told him to have a nice day and turned to leave. I was sort of wondering if I would get that blow to the back of the head, but I didn’t. There was a collective sigh of relief and a lot of folks smiling at me when I opened the door and left.

Sure hope it went well after that, however I don’t think ole’ Wyatt would have gotten the same results if he had done his business like I did. Actually, it was sort of fun to see him calm down and realize what a jerk he was being.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c ya’ll, all y’all. Remember to respect those that deserve it and vote for freedom! ❖

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The Fence Post Updated Jan 3, 2014 08:10AM Published Jan 20, 2014 11:01AM Copyright 2014 The Fence Post. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.