Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

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January 27, 2014
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Mad Jack Hanks: Tales From The O-NO Ranch 1-27-14

Gentle readers, as I was riding ole’ Howdy, my fat paint hoss a couple of days ago I rode down the dry creek that runs across my place. It does have water in it on occasion, but not like it did when we first bought the place almost 19 years ago. I digress. I pictured myself as if I were riding through a fast moving cold mountain stream like that Russian guy, “Glad-I’m-Here-Pukin.” He’s always mounted on a horse with his shirt off riding through a cold river. Tough guy. He wants to be tougher than our guys or appear to be so. Me thinks he might have a little of the “short guy’s syndrome.” But after all, we had the “Duke.” Yep, ole’ John Wayne, I guarantee you he was tougher than “Glad-I’m-Here.”

Now, once upon a time I was listening to a liberal progressive talk radio host who moved to Denver from Lost Angels, Calif. Do you know what he had the gumption to talk about? He said the Duke was a cross dresser!! Are you kiddin’ me Charlie Brown? The “Duke” wearing a bra and panty hose under that vest and gunbelt? No way, I’m sayin’ “NO WAY”!!

I bet that radio host never approached the “Duke” and ask him if he was wearin’ women’s underwear. Not on your life. John’s name before movie fame was Marion. Just sayin ... I know some guys name Marion and they don’t wear women’s underwear, not that I’m aware of anyway I don’t think that some liberals really like tough guys, but I’d bet most do.

Now how about “Mad” Jack? Well, I’ve ’splained this a time or two before, but just so you know, I’ll condense it again. Long ago and far away in Texas I wrote a letter to the editor of our local rag in regards to our welfare program. I signed it “Mad” Jack Hanks. Some in the community, just for fun began to refer to me as “mad” Jack. Fast forward to Colorado and my beginning of a second career as a “cowboy humorist, cartoonist and columnist.” After some thought, I opined that most folks would not remember if my name was Jack, John, Jim or Homer, so I hooked “Mad” onto my first name and I don’t think most folks forgot my name when it came to my second career.

Names can say a lot about a person, thing or a place. How many times have you seen a dog named “Duke.” I haven’t seen a dog yet name “Glad-I’m-Here” or Obama as of yet. Not even Hillary comes to mind when I think of dog’s names. It’s usually Butch, Madolyn, King, Rusty, Rose and so on.

I just happen to like the name “Charlie Brown.” Ole’ Charlie and I seemed to have had a lot in common as time passed us by. I’ll never be as cool as Charlie Brown, but I have learned not to approach that stupid football any more. How about you?

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and do the right thing! I’ll c y’all, all y’all. ❖

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The Fence Post Updated Jan 20, 2014 03:09PM Published Feb 10, 2014 01:37PM Copyright 2014 The Fence Post. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.