Gwen Petersen
Big Timber, Mont.

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February 3, 2014
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Gwen Petersen: In a Sow’s Ear 2-3-14

I can’t remember the least thing any more. Dredging through past articles and essays, I came across something I penned 14 years ago. Was that when I started sliding down the Over-the-Hill trail?

They say “older” is always 15 years added to your current age. If I stack 15 winters onto my present dotage (and if I survive another 15), I’ll be nominated for inclusion in the World Record Book of Really Outlandish Facts, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not and something else that I forget ...

The following is a parody to the tune: “Gramma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.” Forgive me.

Can’t Remember Squat

Chorus ...

I’m a cowgirl with a lousy memory

And my thinking’s gotten kind of slow.

Since I took up drinkin’ lime tequila

My world has taken on a rosy glow.

My brain cells have got all sticky

Can’t remember my own name.

They say it’s cuz I’m getting older

As for me I think my mind

has pulled up lame.

Chorus ...

When they asked about my birthday

I could only give a guess.

As my soggy brain malfunctioned

Like that Janet Jackson’s TV party dress.

Chorus ...

On a sandwich in the kitchen

I spread lard upon my bread.

I had grabbed up the wrong container

And I spit up on my kitten’s little head.

Chorus ...

Kitten thought the stuff was yummy

She licked it up from the floor.

Then she sat there staring at me hard

And meowed and begged

for just a little more.

Chorus ...

Doc said that I should exercise

And to walk a mile each day.

I began about a week ago

Just how far I’ve come, I really cannot say.

Chorus ...

If you see a Cowgirl walkin’

As if both her feet are sore.

That might be me out on that highway

But I won’t remember what I’m walkin’ for.

Chorus...

I’m a cowgirl with a lousy memory

And my thinking’s gotten kind of slow.

Since I took up drinkin’ lime tequila

My world has taken on a rosy glow. ❖


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The Fence Post Updated Jan 30, 2014 09:48AM Published Feb 18, 2014 11:42AM Copyright 2014 The Fence Post. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.