Hanks: The mystery of the common cold | TheFencePost.com

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Hanks: The mystery of the common cold

The common cold is truly a mystery, at least in my opinion. Now one would think that if we could put an hombre on the moon in 1969, maybe somebody that is smart enough to do that could find either a cure for the common cold or a way to avoid it at all cost.

I was purty proud of myself this past weekend as I had not even a sniffle all winter.

I had been out in zero degree weather on an old tractor with no cab moving snow. I had greeted so many folks at different times and danced with so many different ladies and here I was, snot free and a happy Jack.

Well, guess what? Yep, when I got up Sunday morning after a night of dancing I had a sore throat, runny nose and that nagging cough.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about ‘cause if you don’t have one now, you are over it or about to get the bug.”

You know exactly what I'm talking about 'cause if you don't have one now, you are over it or about to get the bug. The thing about it is, we don't know how or when or why we were so unlucky that we got caught with our pants down.

That's what makes it a mystery; we just can't get it figured out. Oh, I have the remedies handy and have just taken some Alka Seltzer Plus. I don't know what the plus stuff is but I'm guessing someone smarter than me put the "plus" stuff in the mixture to give me a better shot at getting well quicker.

Gentle readers, I didn't sleep all that well last night with having to blow my nose and spit up junk about every minute or so. Did you know that your sinuses can produce 8 gallons of junk every hour? I'm just guessin' now, but that's how I had it figured last night. I went through almost 200 tissues during the ordeal.

I just heard on the "fake "news that this cold and flu season is one of the worst, and I have to believe it. It seems like now that I'm blessed with a portion of it, I notice folks everywhere blowing their noses and coughing.

You might think that an old cowboy with aching bones, bad knees, post nasal drip and some really bad gas from time to time could catch a break and not have to be bothered with such an annoying anomaly as the common cold.

I will tell you that I AM SO BLESSED to be in the condition I am at my age and I promise I WILL STOP THIS WHINING!

I think the common cold was designed to keep us humble and let us know that there are things much, much worse.

So what are a few restless nights and looking like Herman Munster for a week or so? Works for me.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion, try to keep the snot out of yer mustache when approaching a woman and I'll c. y'all, all y'all.

Oh, did I mention I also have ingrown toenails and the heartbreak of hemorrhoids.❖