Yield: Aggie Emojis | TheFencePost.com
Breaking: USDA opens more land for emergency haying, grazing to help producers in Montana,...
Milo Yield

Back to: Opinion

Yield: Aggie Emojis

They used to be called emoticons, but now they're called emojis — those lovable, laughable or just plain irritating little facial (and otherwise) icons that social media savvy folks attach to their messages to convey something about the mood they're in or convey what they're doing in one simple icon. I call it "at a glance" communications.

As for me personally, I've never gotten beyond the semi-colon/parenthesis for the "wink-wink" emoji ;). Nor do I expect to go beyond my present stage of emoji use.

However, a group calling itself Unicode — I think it’s a bunch of self-appointed promoters of emojis — announced recently that they have created and put their stamp of approval on dozens or hundreds of new emojis. With scant interest, I scanned through a bunch of the new emojis when it suddenly dawned on me that the aggie/rural community was very poorly represented amongst the new emojis.

For instance, in the "people, animals and nature" emojis, I found emojis for "man farmer," "woman farmer" and "cowboy hat." And the farm animals such as dog, cat, horse, cow, pig, sheep and several for chicken. In the "activities" emojis, I found horse racing and fishing, but nothing for hunting unless you count the single picture of a pistol. That's about it.

While I admit that I'm not a big fan of emojis — new or old — I do emote for those of the world who are belittled, downtrodden or just plain ignored and I think the entire rural community is being short-changed with the new list of emojis.

So, I propose that some enterprising, creative, artistic, rustic person or group create an entire category of new emojis for the rural community. Just for fun, let's call them "Aggie Emojis."

Since I'm none of the adjectives above — plus I'm too danged old and curmudgeonly — I can't do the job myself. But I can start a list of suggested Aggie Emojis.

• Rancher who tops the market: Emoji of cowboy hat and face with dollar signs for the eyes.

• Farmer with bumper crop yield: Emoji of seed company cap and face with overflowing bushel basket of grain.

• 4-H: Emoji of four-leaf clover with 4-H superimposed.

• FFA: Emoji of FFA emblem Superimposed with boy and girl wearing blue jacket.

• Team Ropers: Emoji of two faces with cowboy hats in the middle of two rope circles.

• Grand champion at livestock show: Emoji of face with cowboy hat superimposed over a purple ribbon.

• Grand champion at county fair baking: Emoji of woman with apron holding a hot steaming apple pie.

• ATV wreck: Emoji of overturned ATV with sprawled rider with XXs for eyes.

• Farm gardener: Emoji of face with straw hat superimposed over a heaping basket of veggies.

• Old aggie column writer: Emoji of potbellied man superimposed over a computer screen — it's an appropriate emoji for me.

Okay, that last one wuz personal. I'll probably think of other Aggie Emoji suggestions in future columns.

•••

I ain't talked about what I did for Father's Day. Ol' Nevah and I went to see family and friends in Manhappiness, Kan. Eleven of us ate at the Tallgrass Tap and partook of the place's good food and micro-brewery products. Then we retired to the rooftop tap and visited and tippled for another hour.

And, then we went back in time for me and crossed the street to an Irish pub and shot pool and threw darts for another couple hours. That's how I spent many an hour back in my days of attending Bea Wilder U.

The next day, Nevah and I joined our grandson, Noah Yield, for nine holes of cow pasture pool. It wuz a great Father's Day when you consider that I also got three fine new country-western music CDs as a gift.

•••

Also, an old college chum from BWU, Warner "The Bull" Locke dropped by for an afternoon of touring the Flint Hills, BSing, and reminiscing. Bull wuz a low-class mentor for me during my college days, but I somehow managed to overcome most of what he mentored me on. 😉

•••

My friend Willie Jay from Mt. Vernon, Mo., had a scary event at his farm recently. A guy and gal driving a stolen vehicle transport truck from Utah just drove up to WJ's diesel tank on his farm and began filling up the stolen truck. He stole almost 50 gallons of fuel. I'll remind that WJ lives several miles off the interstate.

When one of WJ's sons confronted the thief by blocking the driveway and called 911, the thieves backed into the son's truck and WJ's boat before making a getaway. I never heard if the authorities caught the bandits or not.

Seems there ain't no place that's fully safe these days from desperadoes.

•••

I'd better quit with this quote overheard at the coffee shop. "I'm so old and decrepit that a buzzard roosts on my roof." Have a good 'un.❖