Tales from the O-NO Ranch 5-17-10 | TheFencePost.com

Tales from the O-NO Ranch 5-17-10

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Gentle readers, without a doubt, I am a gen-u-wine, card-carrying hayseed. I seem to have problems when I am confronted with navigating situations in public places where you would have no problem at all.

I recently returned from the old country, Texas, where I flew down to visit kin for a few days. The last time I flew was out of Stapleton Airport so that was a good many years ago. I was terrified to think that I was going to have to go to the new (to me) Denver International Airport to get to my destination. I was told to just follow the signs and I would be just fine. I was also told to go to the United ticket counter and would be issued a boarding pass and sent on to security. Nobody said anything about having to use a computerized machine to get my boarding pass. I almost had a small panic attack as I started answering all the questions. I messed up a couple of times and with a little assistance from a kind feller, I completed the process only to have the machine tell me to go to another machine as it was out of paper! I made it through the long, long lines of folks and got past security and found my boarding gate about 67 miles away at the other end of the terminal. I just don’t like that word TERMINAL when your flying the friendly skies.

I had a good visit with my folks and had a tougher time getting’ through security at the little Midland airport than I did in Denver. I think they were bored as there just weren’t that many folks in their facility.

I went this morning to get my driver’s license renewed as it will expire in a few days. As I walked in there was an empty desk at the front and I remember in the past a lady used to sit there and pass out numbers and tell you where to go. As I looked over the small crowd I saw a few folks sitting and a few folks up at the counter. I located the counter that said “renewals” and stood in line. As I watched new folks come in it was obvious that they were pickin’ up something from that front desk. I went back over only to discover that I should have punched a little machine and it would give you a number. I told ya I didn’t function well in these places. I got me a number and went and sat down to wait for it to be called. My number was 425. When they got to number 423 a feller stepped up and announced that all of their computers had gone down statewide and it would be a couple of hours before they were able to process folks again. Now see, if I had just gotten a number when I came in I would have been processed and out of there. I have to go back tomorrow and do it again. I have too many of these stories to try and tell them all. It’s embarrassing!

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. ya.

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