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Yield: Livin’ in a dustland fairytale

Whew! Talk about a weather extremes. I've spoken often about the yo-yo weather in the Flint Hills. Well, recently we've seen roller-coaster weather in the Hills.

When my Iowa friends, the Pegan Rays, were here a week ago, Pegan and I fished a pond and there wuzn't a breath of wind blowing the entire afternoon. The pond surface wuz a mirror.

Then the weather turned windy, I mean really windy. First it blew gustily out of the southwest, then the southeast, and now today, it's blowing 40 miles per hour out of the northwest.

The temperatures have roller-coastered, too. We had highs in the low 80s. Now today, the temperature is in the low 40s to go along with the 40 mph wind.

“It wuz so dry and dusty that we quit after about an hour because our bird dogs just couldn’t smell.”

We finally got our first killing frost of the season. But even that wuz followed by several days of high temperatures.

When it stopped raining in early October, it really stopped. It ain't rained a drop in right at a month now. After I finished off the garden plots, I dusted in my wheat plots for the chickens. When it rains again, I might get a good stand of wheat, but I doubt it happens.

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The upland bird-hunting season opened this week. On opening day, my good hunting buddy, Saul M. Reeder, and I released some of our pen-raised quail for hunting. It wuz so dry and dusty that we quit after about an hour because our bird dogs just couldn't smell.

Then two days later, our friends, the Penn Cilpushers, from Rogers, Ark., drove up and Penn joined Saul and I for two days of quail hunting.

It wuz still dry, windy, and dusty, but for some unknown reason, the dogs could smell much better and we harvested a bunch of quail and enjoyed quail breasts and crappie fillets for our evening meal.

I'm happy to say that my Brittany bird dog pup, Mandy, is making good progress. She's a long way from a finished bird dog, but is doing a much better job in the field than I'd anticipated.

Here's hoping that practice makes perfect in Mandy's case. I'll mention that we did flush one covey of wild quail out of one of my grain sorghum plots here at Damphewmore Acres.

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I've got breaking news from the sporting world. According to an anonymous email, I've learned that the Chicago Cubs are being forced to give up their World Series title.

Cleveland Indians fans have rioted across the country in protest of the 2016 World Series. Despite knowing the rules of the game prior to playing, they were unhappy they lost and demanded the outcome to be changed.

They could be heard chanting "Not Our World Series Champions" all across America.

Even though the Cubs won four games and the Indians only won three, since both teams scored 27 total runs throughout all seven games, major league baseball officials have declared that the Indians are being declared co-world champions.

When questioned, major league baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred stated, "We felt as though it was the right thing to do for the nation. What kind of example would Major League Baseball be setting if we expected the adults who play this game, and their fans, to gracefully accept defeat? Instead of creating a bigger divide between the Cubs and Indians, MLB is confident that the Cubs will gladly share their victory with the Indians."

Don't be surprised if Cub fans take to the streets in protest.

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Also in the news: A ranching friend sent me an the article from Working Ranch mag. The federal Bureau of Land Management estimates the number of free roaming horses and burros at 67,000 — nearly 40,000 or 150% over recommended management level. The population is growing at 20 percent a year.

In addition, 45,000 horses and burros remain in long-term storage in pastures and feedlots across the land at a cost to taxpayers of $50,000/head per year. That sounds like a lot of money for hay, oats and labor.

An advisory board recommended BLM sell the horses it can for private ownership and euthanize the rest.

However, the tree and bunny huggers undoubtedly won't let that happen. I guess it's more humane for a wild horse or burro to starve to death.

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I just found out from reading a science article why I'm so smart.

Benjamin Bergen is the author of the book: "What the F: What Swearing Reveals About Our Language, Our Brains, and Ourselves."

The good scientist reports, "It turns out that there are amazing things you can find out about how the mind works, how the brain works, and people's human sociality just by looking at profanity," he explained.

The professor of Cognitive Science at University of California San Diego said cursing could be linked to higher intelligence.

"It turns out that on average, the ones who swear the most also have the biggest vocabulary overall," Bergen added.

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Well, "shucky darn," heck and gosh-darn it. Ain't I the lucky one to get so smart so easily with my well developed blue vocabulary? Have a good 'un.❖