Have you ever had one of those weeks when everything goes to h-e-double-hockey-sticks. Well, this was one of those.

And it’s all because of computers, my computer in particular, which went wonky and needed to be replaced. Seems computers aren’t supposed to last six years.

So, I limped through Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday the IT guy came to try to fix it while getting my new computer ready. It’s a good thing the IT guy lives right down the street from me.

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When I got the old computer back it worked great until it locked me out. So, the IT guy came over again gave me my shiny new computer, which I immediately set up, and I worked like crazy to get everything edited for this week’s publication. There were some hiccups but I powered through.

On Thursday my email was not working and I could not get on to the VPN, which is our server. After taking a look at the address with my cataract addled eyes, I realized I spelled Greeley wrong, oops.

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The IT guy said he was working from home Thursday so if I needed anything he could come right over. I’m sure he was worried that I might throw my computer out the window or burn my home office down if something didn’t go right.

Another problem I’m having is that I’m not a computer whiz. I’m pretty sure I broke some stuff on my computer when I was trying to get it to work.

Luckily, I found a treasure while I was digging up bones the other day that I think many of you will appreciate. At the stop of the sheet of paper, it said “Farm Journal Sept. 1998. I’m sure some farmer sent it to me when he was having computer issues back in the day. He actually typed (on a real typewriter) it out on a half a piece of paper that had something on the back of it.

I changed the language to reflect how true northlanders talk, your welcome.

It’s titled Computer Terms from the North Country:

Log on: Make da voodstove hotter

Log off: Don’t add vood

Monitor: Keep your eye on da voodstove

Download: Take da firevood off da pickup

Megahertz: What happens when you drop a log on your toe during downloading

Floppy disk: What you get from piling too much vood

Hard drive: Getting home in a snowstorm

Screen: What you need for da mosquito season

Byte: What da mosquitoes do to you if you don’t have a screen

Modem: What you did to da hay fields

Mouse: What eats da grain in da barn

Random access memory: You can’t remember how much dat new rifle cost when your wife asks.

Hope you enjoyed this and next time you see me I probably won’t have any hair left on my head.