Dealing with A.A.A.D.D.
After you’ve achieved your Golden Years, you may suffer from serious cognitive impairments. Such as Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder or: AAADD. This joke-essay was sent to me by my wry-attitude brother via the Internet. I put it in verse form.
This morning, I decided to wash my car
Parked in the yard, it wasn’t far,
I started toward the back porch door
And spotted the mail there on the floor
Hmm I thought, I’ll go through the mail
In case there’s something I want on sale
I put the junk stuff in the trash
The trash was so full I had to mash
I shuffled the mail for bills to pay
Best do this first, get ‘em out of the way
Then haul the trash to the garbage bin
A sensible plan I thought with a grin
I went to my desk and noticed a bottle
Of juice I’d forgotten to drink; I oughta
Put it in frig to keep it cold
To the kitchen I went, my steps quite bold
Then I spotted a vase of wilting flowers
They’ve needed watering for several hours
And there on the counter — my glasses for reading!
For which I’ve been frankly seriously needing!
I’d best put them back on the desk right away
But I’ll water the flowers before they decay
Then there on the counter what do I see
The missing remote to my TV!
I should return it while I am able
(For I won’t remember it’s on the table)
But first I’ll splash the flowers with water
(Which spills on the floor like it hadn’t oughter)
Back on the counter I laid the remote
And grabbed paper towels so I could cope
I wiped up the spill then set off down the hall
Whatever I’d started, I couldn’t recall
At the end of the day, the car’s not washed
The bills aren’t paid, my ambition’s squashed
Flowers aren’t watered, no bills have been paid
Can’t find the remote, the darn thing’s strayed
My glasses went missing and the keys to my car
And over-warm juice still rests on the bar
Nothing’s got done and I’m in a tizzy
Baffling it is, cuz I know I’ve been busy!
The day has ended and I’m really tired
Tho I started the morning quite inspired
I’ll check my email and share this muddle
And hope it won’t cause anyone trouble
It’s a serious problem; I’ll pass it on
To friends or pals or anyone
Please excuse if mailed twice to you
Cuz I can’t remember whom I’ve sent it to!