After you’ve achieved your Golden Years, you may suffer from serious cognitive impairments.  Such as Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder or: AAADD. This joke-essay was sent to me by my wry-attitude brother via the Internet. I put it in verse form. 

AAADD

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This morning, I decided to wash my car

Parked in the yard, it wasn’t far,

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I started toward the back porch door

And spotted the mail there on the floor

 

Hmm I thought, I’ll go through the mail

In case there’s something I want on sale

I put the junk stuff in the trash

The trash was so full I had to mash

 

I shuffled the mail for bills to pay

Best do this first, get ‘em out of the way

Then haul the trash to the garbage bin

A sensible plan I thought with a grin

 

I went to my desk and noticed a bottle

Of juice I’d forgotten to drink; I oughta

Put it in frig to keep it cold

To the kitchen I went, my steps quite bold

 

Then I spotted a vase of wilting flowers

They’ve needed watering for several hours

And there on the counter — my glasses for reading!

For which I’ve been frankly seriously needing!

I’d best put them back on the desk right away

But I’ll water the flowers before they decay

Then there on the counter what do I see

The missing remote to my TV!

 

I should return it while I am able

(For I won’t remember it’s on the table)

But first I’ll splash the flowers with water

(Which spills on the floor like it hadn’t oughter)

 

Back on the counter I laid the remote

And grabbed paper towels so I could cope

I wiped up the spill then set off down the hall

Whatever I’d started, I couldn’t recall

 

At the end of the day, the car’s not washed

The bills aren’t paid, my ambition’s squashed

Flowers aren’t watered, no bills have been paid

Can’t find the remote, the darn thing’s strayed

 

My glasses went missing and the keys to my car

And over-warm  juice still rests on the bar

Nothing’s got done and I’m in a tizzy

Baffling it is, cuz I know I’ve been busy!

 

The day has ended and I’m really tired

Tho I started the morning quite inspired

I’ll check my email and share this muddle

And hope it won’t cause anyone trouble

 

It’s a serious problem; I’ll pass it on

To friends or pals or anyone

Please excuse if mailed twice to you

Cuz I can’t remember whom I’ve sent it to! ❖