I write this letter to inform you that I am terminating our hostile relationship with one another. Here it is almost April and you insist on sending frigidly cold north winds and snow that never seems to melt. See when we began this relationship back in December, it was new, it was exciting and the snow was a welcome sight. After the long dry summer we welcomed the moisture with open arms. The fact of the matter is after four months of your harsh demeanor towards most of the northern plains we’re just plain sick and tired of being snowed in, stuck, gelled up, iced up, and having to dress like the Michelin Man just to go outside.
I know that you are jealous of spring. That was blatantly obvious when you allowed three beautiful days of sunshine that melted some of your precious snow, only to slam us again with more wind and snow. You don’t have to have all the glory, spring can bring us moisture in the form of rain. In fact we welcome the change. I’m sure you are ready to move on to the southern hemisphere and bring them copious amounts of snow and ice. Surely the penguins in Antarctica have missed your frowning face and chilly personality.
Our relationship this past four months has been memorable to say the least. Honestly I have never seen so much snow that stayed for so long. Our county road may never be the same, despite the road department’s best efforts you have caused holes and damage that may take years to repair. I am also including with this letter an invoice for the extra hay that you caused us to buy, the endless staples that are now missing from the fence, and two cows that suffered injury at the hand of your beloved ice.
I could go on and on but somehow I think that this letter will fall on deaf ears. I welcome spring with open arms and politely ask that you respect our wishes and go on vacation until next December. You can come back and visit then, but frankly you have overstayed your welcome this time. Please don’t be mad or hurt, after all you did kill all the flies and mosquitos! Hope I don’t see you soon.
A frozen and tired cowboy who is ready for green grass.
I know many of you reading this have probably shoveled more than your fair share of snow this winter. Just about the time we think warm weather and spring is coming, we get blasted with another round of snow. I am very thankful for the promise of green grass this summer, especially after the drought we suffered last year. I learned at a very young age to never cuss a good rain, and that all moisture was to be welcomed. I will say this however, I would rather be stuck in a mud puddle than to shovel snow out from under the pickup one more time this year. Winter’s wrath has taken its toll, and the effects are starting to show, cows that froze their bags, bulls that won’t test because of cold stress, they keep adding to the endless bills that seem to keep rolling in.
That’s all for this time. Here’s to looking forward to fat calves on green grass in the coming months, baseball season and laying down hay to put up for next winter. God bless and remember to keep tabs on your side of the barbed wire.
Meinzer is a fourth-generation rancher raised on the southeastern plains of Colorado. He and his family live and ranch in Oshkosh, Neb.