Freezing in Florida?

My Facebook feed has been filling up with cold weather complaining, joking and carping between people in the south and those in the north.

In Tallahassee Fla., schools closed ahead of a winter storm that was expected to drop 1 inch of snow.

I admit, I would not venture out on the roads with a bunch of Floridians who had never driven on ice and snow before.

That news caused a flurry of responses from northerners and southerners.

The southerners were quick to point out that they have no snowplows, sand or salt to make the roads drivable. And they quip that they hope the northerners never have to experience a category 5 hurricane. I think they really wish northerners would have that experience.

Then, of course, southwest Michigan piped up because they have been getting lake-effect snow every day since Christmas Eve.

But the south responded by mocking us for whining about temperatures in the high 80s, saying that we need to try dealing with 100-degree temps with a heat index of 115 from the humidity.

Then Indiana joins the conversation bragging that they get 100-degree temperatures with 100 percent humidity in the summer and subzero temperatures in the winter. Awww, they have the best of both worlds.

Then there is Minnesota where it has been 30 to 50 degrees below zero and they are happy because it has warmed up to zero degrees, which actually feels like minus 12.

Oh, from, Texas they are jealous because they don’t get to experience a real winter. I don’t think they would be jealous after spending a day in Minnesota when it is 50 below.

Then Arizona boasts that temperatures there have been in the 70s, and, if they want snow, they can go up to the mountains.

And it was all because the news said it was colder in Jacksonville, Fla., than Anchorage, Alaska. Well, folks after living in Anchorage, I can tell you that temperatures there rarely drop below zero. Now, if it was colder in Jacksonville than it is in Fairbanks, Alaska, that would be news.

My favorite post was the North Dakota Dress Code, it usually hits Facebook when temperatures dip into the 50 below range.

For your enjoyment:

North Dakota Dress Code

40 — Trade out shorts for long pants (optional).

30 — Wear socks with your sandals.

20 — No more tank tops.

10 — Closed toe shoes can be worn but only if snowfall exceeds the height of your current open-toed shoes.

0 — Stocking cap can be used in the event that you need to leave the house with wet hair as long as it doesn’t give you hat hair.

-10 — Sweater or other long-sleeved shirt is acceptable (under shirt is optional but not necessary but no turtle necks allowed.

-20 — Put on a coat.

-30 — Zip it up.

-40 — Add a colorful scarf and gloves to complete the look and so that you are easily spotted during a blizzard.

-50 — Long underwear may be worn but only under extreme weather conditions. Use your best judgment. ❖


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