Gwen Petersen: In a Sow’s Ear 10-24-11
Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that the world has veered off its axis, slipped a cog, lost an oar. Actually the world is still spinning in space, welcoming the sun in the mornings and the dark at night. It’s the humans clinging to this whirling orb who seem to have gone loco.
Nutty as a fruitcake, going insane, going crazy, losing one’s marbles, going bonkers, going round the bend, dippy as a fruit fly … These are only a few of the descriptive terms one can apply to the bent-brain bozos who are rapidly taking over the planet.
Take meat, for instance. The food that usually starts out as beef, lamb, chicken, turkey, elk, deer, antelope and possibly armadillo, is – according to P.E.T.A., Vegetarians, Vegans and the occasional cross-dresser – evil, immoral, unhealthful and otherwise not to be consumed.
Or have I committed the sin of profiling?
Why do Vegetarians care?
What other people want to eat?
Why do Vegans sermonize
that it’s evil to eat red meat?
Why does P.E.T.A. rant and fume?
Why object to what people consume?
What’s the problem, why do they squeal
if others eat meat at every meal?
What is this pseudo religious belief.
Rants that it’s wrong to ingest beef?
What’s with the latest crazy fad
of making counterfeit meat in a lab?
Should livestock ranchers give up raising
animals requiring grazing?
Would that make P.E.T.A. persons happy?
Or would they simply get more sappy?
Maybe worm ranchin would be worth a try?
Or would that just bring on an out-cry.
For the Ethical Treatment of Worms?
Who oppose eatin critters that squirm?
Will raising worms start catching on?
Will cows as food soon all be gone?
And in the stores where folks buy meat
Will shoppers choose worm-beef?
Will worms be packaged with coded label
assortments of worm cuts for the table?
Like chicken-fried worm with lots of gravy?
Or ground worm for burgers, maybe?
Will jerky worm be made for hikers?
Dried and salted the way they liker?
Will politicians ingest sirloin?
And casseroles of diced worm groin?
The inhabitants of planet earth
Are fickle, funny and perverse.
From whence comes help for meat defense?
Is there nothing left of common sense?