Gwen Petersen: In a Sow’s Ear 10-31-11
Used to be people went to churches to eyeball possible eligible marriage partners (well, a few did). In the olden days, bachelors ordered mates out of a catalog. Okay, now that you mention it, they can still do that by going on line to dating services both in the States and most anywhere on the planet.
Back before all the digital help, hordes of bachelors populating frontier towns and cowboy and mining camps where they enjoyed a similar service called “Mail Order Brides.” Women came west to marry these lonesome guys, civilize ’em some, and follow up by establishing schools, churches and cleanliness. More or less fitted to the “Boll Weevil” tune, the story goes as follows:
Go West Young Woman
Now, Mac the miner wrote off for a bride
Picked from a picture book
Sent her a ticket plus five dollars
Hoped he’d not be forsook.
Guys Chorus …
Cuz he hadda have a home,
Yes, he hadda have a home
Oh he hadda have a home
He was prayin’ for a home.
Sally signed on and took a chance.
For her new abode she chose
Some curtains and things
to make a home nice
And a machine for sewing clothes.
Gals Chorus …
Cuz she hadda have a home,
Yes, she hadda have a home.
Oh she hadda have a home
She was prayin’ for a home.
Rancher Shorty wished hard for a wife.
He wanted a family.
He picked a bride who’d cook for him
And keep him company.
Guys Chorus …
Cuz he hadda have a home,
Yes, he hadda have a home.
Oh he hadda have a home
He was prayin’ for a home.
Miss Gertrude Jones took up the challenge
Traveled by stage out west.
Rode Wells Fargo for two long months
And she only had one dress.
Gals Chorus …
Cuz she hadda have a home,
Yes, she hadda have a home.
Oh she hadda have a home
She was prayin’ for a home.
Then trapper Johnny who never washed
Cleaned up and wrote a letter
Begged a gal to be his bride
For worse or maybe better.
Guys Chorus …
Cuz he hadda have a home,
Yes, he hadda have a home.
Oh he hadda have a home
He was prayin’ for a home.
Miss Prudence answered Johnny’s missive
Said she’d arrive in spring.
Confessed she was a widow woman
Her daughter, could she bring?
Gals Chorus …
Cuz she hadda have a home,
Yes, she hadda have a home.
Oh she hadda have a home
She was prayin’ for a home.
And Lonesome Lars a dryland farmer
Built a shack on the prairie.
And planted wheat and oats and barley
But yearned for a gal to marry.
Guys Chorus …
Cuz he hadda have a home,
Yes, he hadda have a home.
Oh he hadda have a home
He was prayin’ for a home.
Bignose Beulah debarked one day
From a coach (she rode shotgun)
She cracked her whip and hollered loud
“Lars! I’m here, Hon!”
Gals Chorus …
Cuz she hadda have a home,
Yes, she hadda have a home.
Oh she hadda have a home
She was prayin’ for a home.
Cowboy Clyde up on the highline
Yearned to have a bride
He filled in the form and sent it off
And waxed his mustache, his pride.
Guys Chorus …
Cuz he hadda have a home,
Yes, he hadda have a home.
Oh he hadda have a home
He was prayin’ for a home.
From Pennsylvania Pretty Polly
Taking a chance, went west.
She journeyed over hill and dale
Now, you all know the rest.
Gals Chorus …
Cuz she hadda have a home,
Yes, she hadda have a home.
Oh she hadda have a home
She was prayin’ for a home.
Guys met gals through the U.S. mail
And wedded one another.
They populated the golden west
As gals turned in to mothers.
Gals and Guys chorus …
And they hadda have a home,
Yes, they hadda have a home.
Oh they hadda have a home
They were prayin’ for a home.
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