Gwen Petersen: In a Sow’s Ear 2-20-12
February 20, 2012
Life is full of unexpected surprises. Especially if you live in the country with uninvited varmints sharing the great outdoors with you.
Sandy and husband, Scott, are Outfitters. During Thanksgiving week, they hosted a dozen hunters. Sandy had Thanksgiving dinner planned for mid afternoon. Which left her time in the morning to whistle for Dixie and Buster (Poodlepointer and Airedale) to join her for a walk. Sandy and her canine buddies climbed into the van (the vehicle often used to transport guest hunters to and from airports). She drove three miles to the pasture adjacent to the creek. She intended to let the dogs run while she enjoyed the sunshine, the mountain vistas, the fresh air and the pure pleasure of country life.
Parking the van at a particular spot, she and the dogs began hiking; the route would take them in a loop along the creek and back to the van. Strolling along, thinking of not much, Sandy noticed something black just over there … which is to say, it took her a moment to realize the black thing was a skunk! It didn’t take the dogs near as long to attack said critter. Buster grabbed it by the nape; Dixie joined in. Mr. Skunk took offense and turned the juice loose. One dog received a face full; the other dripped with the stuff.
Here’s where Sandy made a slight error in judgment. Instead of backing off, she ran toward the melee. Mr. Skunk had not run out of Fluid of the Gods. He christened Sandy.
Skunk left the scene as fast as he could waddle. Dogs joined Sandy who led off at a run for the van. Loading the four-legged reeking dogs in the back, Sandy slid into the driver’s seat and, sitting as lightly as she could in the hope that the smell wouldn’t permeate the vehicle (yeah, right), drove as fast as possible back to the ranch.
What to do, what to do. She had to cook dinner for 12 people who might not appreciate her earthy aroma while ingesting ham, yams, dressing and turkey. Ever resourceful (and besides, this wasn’t her first rodeo with skunks), she mixed up a sure-fire skunk-odor deodorant.
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For the benefit of those who may encounter nature’s walking stink bomb, here’s Sandy’s recipe:
1 quart 3 percent hydrogen peroxide
1/4 cup baking soda
1 tsp. Dawn dishwashing soap
1 gallon warm water
Mix and use as needed.
Do NOT cap it or it may explode!
Wash self and dogs 10 times, at least. Strictly avoid dog’s and people’s mouths, eyes, noses and inside ears. Knead the goop into dog’s coat. And like that old Prell commercial, do that once and then “repeat.”
This was the abbreviated story I was told. I don’t know if any hunter turned down his Thanksgiving meal. I don’t know how long Sandy and canines wore a lingering perfume. I don’t know if the van got washed out with the anti-skunk-odor mixture.
Sandy is not only an outfitter by occupation, she’s also an outstanding writer of cowboy poetry. I do think she should pen a poem from the skunk incident, don’t you? Title it: Aroma Therapy.