Gwen Petersen: In a Sow’s Ear 8-1-11 | TheFencePost.com

Gwen Petersen: In a Sow’s Ear 8-1-11

Elderly: Always an age 15 years beyond one’s own birthday. “How To Be Elderly, A User’s Guide, Volume One” was written a few years ago when I was – I emphatically claim – verging on elderly. Some say achieving a state of advanced years beats the alternative. I expect that’s a fair statement, but one doesn’t want to dwell on that aspect, does one? At least not gloomily. Which is why I am writing “How To Be Elderly, A User’s Guide, Volume Two” (subtitled “Old Age Pretty Much Sucks”).

Since I gotta go regardless of how I diet or exercise, regardless of what religious persuasion I prefer, or which political mess I subscribe to, I might as well make fun of the journey. Volume Two takes a humorous (some might say crass) shot at disgusting old-age conditions – such as toe fungus.

Elderly: Always an age 15 years beyond one’s own birthday. “How To Be Elderly, A User’s Guide, Volume One” was written a few years ago when I was – I emphatically claim – verging on elderly. Some say achieving a state of advanced years beats the alternative. I expect that’s a fair statement, but one doesn’t want to dwell on that aspect, does one? At least not gloomily. Which is why I am writing “How To Be Elderly, A User’s Guide, Volume Two” (subtitled “Old Age Pretty Much Sucks”).

Since I gotta go regardless of how I diet or exercise, regardless of what religious persuasion I prefer, or which political mess I subscribe to, I might as well make fun of the journey. Volume Two takes a humorous (some might say crass) shot at disgusting old-age conditions – such as toe fungus.