Gwen Peterson: Singing our way to the voting booths | TheFencePost.com

Gwen Peterson: Singing our way to the voting booths

Well, hey, everybody's getting scared, elated or well … confused, befuddled and angry. Of what am I speaking?

Well, where can you find full measure of passion, prevarication, intrigue, deception, devotion, bizarre schemes, bedroom or boardroom indiscretions and crimes up to and including murder, suicide and mayhem? The political arena, that's where.

Cowboy Clem and his pardner, Zeke, have almost broken up their friendship arguing over who's the best candidate to lead the country out of assorted messes.

Whether Clem and Zeke cuss politicians or sing their praises, they and every human being — even cowboy — can always count on the process to be endlessly entertaining. Like sky-diving, alligator-wrestling or challenging a grizzly with a swizzle stick, most of us wouldn't want to do it, but for some odd reason — unknowable to most of us — politicians, i.e., live men and women, actually saddle up and ride around the country giving speeches and debates to convince us, the hoi polloi, that they alone know the answers.

“Do we vote? Do we abstain? Do we move to another country, another planet?”

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Vote for them and you will receive blessings untold — untold being the operative word as none of the words so far uttered in the current campaign have been associated with reality or truth.

The quandary according to Zeke: "Do we vote? Do we abstain? Do we move to another country, another planet?"

The answer according to Clem: "'Course we vote. We bow the neck, we try to decipher the truth and throw in for another four years with whoever lands in the White House."

Between them, Clem and Zeke composed the following political (sorta) song. It may be hummed, bellowed or muttered to the tune of Deck the Halls. To be totally honest, Clem and Zeke composed this several presidents ago … But hey… names may change, but the same old goes on and on and on and.…

Who's on First….??

Deck the voting booths with holly

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

See the politicians jolly

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

They have stated viewpoints several

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

All their plans they loudly herald

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Hear them promise in a chorus

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Claiming that they're always for us

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Follow them in merry measure

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

While they pledge to you a treasure

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Fast away the old guard passes

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Hail the new, ye lads and lasses,

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Here we go now all together

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Voting for our favorite header

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

In the booth we sign our ex-es

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Hoping they won't raise our taxes

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Now they're done, those windy fellers

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

We'll go back to calving heifers

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ❖