Gwen Peterson: Singing our way to the voting booths |

Gwen Peterson: Singing our way to the voting booths

Well, hey, everybody’s getting scared, elated or well … confused, befuddled and angry. Of what am I speaking?

Well, where can you find full measure of passion, prevarication, intrigue, deception, devotion, bizarre schemes, bedroom or boardroom indiscretions and crimes up to and including murder, suicide and mayhem? The political arena, that’s where.

Cowboy Clem and his pardner, Zeke, have almost broken up their friendship arguing over who’s the best candidate to lead the country out of assorted messes.

Whether Clem and Zeke cuss politicians or sing their praises, they and every human being — even cowboy — can always count on the process to be endlessly entertaining. Like sky-diving, alligator-wrestling or challenging a grizzly with a swizzle stick, most of us wouldn’t want to do it, but for some odd reason — unknowable to most of us — politicians, i.e., live men and women, actually saddle up and ride around the country giving speeches and debates to convince us, the hoi polloi, that they alone know the answers.

“Do we vote? Do we abstain? Do we move to another country, another planet?”

Vote for them and you will receive blessings untold — untold being the operative word as none of the words so far uttered in the current campaign have been associated with reality or truth.

The quandary according to Zeke: “Do we vote? Do we abstain? Do we move to another country, another planet?”

The answer according to Clem: “‘Course we vote. We bow the neck, we try to decipher the truth and throw in for another four years with whoever lands in the White House.”

Between them, Clem and Zeke composed the following political (sorta) song. It may be hummed, bellowed or muttered to the tune of Deck the Halls. To be totally honest, Clem and Zeke composed this several presidents ago … But hey… names may change, but the same old goes on and on and on and.…

Who’s on First….??

Deck the voting booths with holly


See the politicians jolly


They have stated viewpoints several


All their plans they loudly herald


Hear them promise in a chorus


Claiming that they’re always for us


Follow them in merry measure


While they pledge to you a treasure


Fast away the old guard passes


Hail the new, ye lads and lasses,


Here we go now all together


Voting for our favorite header


In the booth we sign our ex-es


Hoping they won’t raise our taxes


Now they’re done, those windy fellers


We’ll go back to calving heifers

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ❖

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