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Hanks: My real New Years resolutions

WOW! Great Scott Batman, here we go again! BAM! CRASH! BOOM! And off into a new year or so it seems.

Now, gentle readers, as I write this we are still in 2016 but by the time you receive this column we will be into the next year. These years just absolutely go by way, way too fast.

I’m trying to remember the things I wrote down this time last year that I was going to do to make my life simpler and better and all the changes I was going to make to become a more desirable person.



I reckon I might have failed to meet some of those challenges along the way. I know that I must have at least tried to accomplish my goals but they all didn’t work out.

“Man, you girls have a lot to do. At least I don’t have kids to take care of.”

So, what are the new things I am going to do in this new year of 2017?



Not a cotton pickin’ thing! Nope, I’ve made myself all of these promises time and time again and either I got to where I wanted to be or I didn’t.

Now, I would be singing a totally different song if I were a lot younger man. I would have more trendy and important goal lines I would want to cross. Been there, done that, bla, bla, bla.

Do I sound a little decrepit and seem to lack at least a small portion of ambition?

I think I sound that way and I’m sorry to be so cheerful and encouraging at this time of the year. In reality, when you reach these golden years and you don’t have any place that you really want to go or anything special that you want to see or do, well, you start to think a little bit like me.

I know, I know there are some of you “balls of fire” out there older than me that have that trip planned to Europe or China, New York City or Truth or Consequences, N.M., and I’m talkin’ like maybe you shouldn’t be havin’ so much fun.

Goodness no, we have to move and keep moving as we age so we don’t begin to decay quite so rapidly.

One thing I will be doing is to get back to swimming again. The pool I use was closed for a number of months for renovation and that was some of the best exercise a person can get involved in.

I missed it and now it’s open again but I haven’t made it back to the pool. I will I promise. I’ll still jump on the Harley for a spin and throw a leg over one of my ponies and go check cattle or just ride because I feel better when I do.

At the start of each year I look at that big ol’ Harley and ask myself, “Jack, can you still handle that thing?” By the time I get a few miles up the interstate it’s as If I never got off of it last year. For darn sure I’ll be dancin’ as much as I can and there are those feminine things like cleaning house, laundry, ironing, buying groceries, running the vacuum and dish washer and dusting.

Man, you girls have a lot to do. At least I don’t have kids to take care of. Here I am telling all y’all what I am going to be doing, when in reality, I may not be doing anything at all.

For all I know I could get run over by a potato chip truck or struck by a wayward goose. Who knows what tomorrow might have in store? For sure not me but we have to plan our work and work our plan … right? That’s my plan.

I also plan to keep up with this column and cartoons and I have just gotten a five-year extension on my calendar contract with the advertising company that I have been with for so long. YEAH!

Stay tuned, remain cheerful and hopeful, put yer best foot forward in this new year, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. y’all, all y’all.❖


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