If I was in charge … | TheFencePost.com

If I was in charge …

Monty Hopkins
Harrisburg, Neb.

If I was in charge, here’s a dozen things we’d do a little differently.

One: School wouldn’t start until the Tuesday following Labor Day, and it would be out the Friday before Memorial Day. Too much time off during the school year … like “In Service Days.” If you need to find a teacher or a student on one of those days, check the Mall!

Two: Students would be taught how to make change, and count change. Then when they got a part-time job at the local hamburger joint they could count my change to me.

Three: Students would be taught how to dress. Bare belly’s are fine for Belly Dancers, but not up and down the street. Boys: Pull your pants up! Turn your cap around. The bill goes in front unless you’re welding.

Four: No four letter words on T-shirts. If you aren’t 21, don’t advertise beer on your T-shirt or cap.

Five: Eliminate “You Know” from the English language.

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Six: All pro football players would be required to get a hair cut. No hair could be visible when wearing a helmet. Same goes for baseball players!

Seven: Pro basketball players would not be allowed to cover their arms, neck and shoulders with tattoos. Same for baseball and football players.

Eight: If you are involved in a fight during a game, five game suspension, except for Hockey. Not awarded a percentage of the ticket sales for the next game.

Nine: If you are a player, coach or fan, and are ejected from a game, five game suspension.

Ten: If you are a player, coach or fan and do not show proper respect during the National Anthem or the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag, suspended for life.

Eleven: If you are a player or coach and are convicted of illegal gambling on your team, suspended for life.

Twelve: If you are a player or coach and are convicted of dogfighting, suspended from the human race for life!