In a Sow’s Ear 11-1-10
I see Cowboy Catalog is now listing cowboys for sale. Ten percent off selling price if purchased before Christmas.
• Classic Cowboy: This selection is the highest grade of cowboy and made of the finest materials. The framework is sturdy and withstands extremes of both heat and cold without breaking down. Wears plaid shirts, leather vest and leather belt with name carved on back. Reaches a height of at least 6-feet on most models. Classic Cowboy comes with standard quarter horse, braided riata and Border Collie. ($1.99 per pound).
• Backwoods Cowboy: A true value if you’re looking for a no-frills dependable model. Made of rough but strong materials, Backwoods Cowboy can flood irrigate, dynamite beaver dams and carry a sickly calf back to the ranch across his saddle. Will eat almost anything cook prepares. Is especially fond of mountain oysters. Rides a gray horse with black mane and tail named Joker. Off his horse, most Backwoods Cowboys stand well over 6 feet. Shaves at least once a week. ($1.63 per pound).
• Bragging Cowboy: A more light-hearted model than most, Bragging Cowboy carries on continuous conversations. Believes himself a good horseman and loves to show off at ranch rodeos. Tends to drift from ranch to ranch, but while employed does a competent job. This model reaches heights anywhere from 5 foot to 5-foot-8 1/2. Wears high-crowned Stetsons sometimes with a feather in the band. Drives a four-wheeled flatbed pickup with saddle always propped against the back rail. ($1.02 per pound).
• Girl Chasing Cowboy: Handsome in a Roy Rogers style, Girl Chasing Cowboy rides a black and white paint horse at ranch ropings. Usually, Girl Chasing Cowboy is the youngest son of a wealthy local rancher. He can ride and rope with panache and prefers rope and drag brandings rather than using a calf table. Does not smoke or use snoose. Claims doing so would impinge on his chances of stealing kisses. This model of cowboy can be any height, any coloring, any framework, but is always flashy. Has an abundance of attitude and wears a white five-X Beaver hat when going to town. ($.75 per pound).
• True Blue Cowboy: This model does not feel the need to fill silences with unnecessary words. Can be any shape or size. He and his dog, Dollar, and his horse, Saint, make a formidable team on a cattle roundup. True Blue Cowboy is a devoted family man, though finding a bride takes him the better part of his adulthood. Once he does, True Blue Cowboy sires at least six children. He is good with livestock and keeps his fences, corrals and outbuildings in first-rate condition. This model tends to be elected to Livestock Boards. Dresses in standard blue jeans but will wear a sport jacket with leather elbow patches when attending weddings or funerals. ($2.15 per pound).
• All Purpose Cowboy: A combination of most of the above types, All Purpose Cowboy can ride, rope, fix machinery, take care of ranch books as well as attend social functions without protest. Enjoys watching a sunset though has never admitted it. Rotates his grazing pastures and grain fields. Once suffered a broken ankle when a cow kicked him during a team roping event but finished the task before collapsing. Sustained a broken leg when he slid off the top of an ice-coated haystack. Continued winter feeding while on crutches. All Purpose Cowboy is nearly always skinny and comes in a wide variety of heights and color. ($2.11 per pound).
Visit our Cowboy Catalog online or call 800-555-7777 to order your own special cowboy. All models come with a selection of accessories at no extra cost.
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