In a Sow’s Ear
I read the article with a certain awe, And when I finished, I said, “Awww”,
For it seems that fish
in the Potomac river
Are becoming creatures that’ll quiver your liver.
Headlines blared the shocking news, and it’s giving the EPA the blues;
For they’ve found some fish
of the male persuasion
That are layin’ eggs “
now ain’t that amazin’?
The water’s polluted with pesticides,
And turning fish into hermaphrodites;
Now more of my taxes are going to pay
For me to worry about fishy ways.
And then I read about a little bitty insect
The government says it must protect;
Now I must worry
about bugs in my bed,
Do I want to preserve ’em
or make ’em dead?
But that’s not all, for I also read,
While spreading butter
on my toasted bread,
That prophylactics are to be given to men
in the federal pen!
This is the way, the government states,
To halt the excessive spread of Aids;
More taxes the government’s gonna spend
So I won’t worry about love in the pen?
What I read in the paper,
well, it makes me frown,
My blood pressure goes up;
my enjoyment goes down;
Then I look out the window
and there go my friends,
Manes whipping like flags
as they race with the winds.
The heck with newspapers,
The news that they bring
does nothing for me;
But give me a horse
on a warm summer day,
And joy fills my heart;
I’ve no more to say.
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The Agriculture Department’s Risk Management Agency on Tuesday announced that changes to its Livestock Risk Protection insurance plan will take effect on Jan. 20 for crop year 2021 and succeeding crop years.