In a Sow’s Ear |

In a Sow’s Ear

Valentine’s Day is past and if you listen you can hear windy sighs of relief from all male persons over the age of 13. The gut-twisting anxiety of having to do something “romantic” is over for another year.

My wry-eyed philosophical brother (retired and living in Florida) has the whole concept nailed. He sent me the following. In the interests of helping the thinking man deal with “Valentine Angst” next February, I’m passing along brother Tom’s words:

My wife, Catherine, will sometimes spontaneously hug me and ask,”Do you love me?”

I’ll say, “Sure.Why?What happened?” So you can see that I’m not a romantic guy and Valentine’s Day for me it is rather intimidating. Like most of the male species when I was young I assumed being on the make was the same as being romantic.

On the way to work last Tuesday, the day before “V” day, I scrawled “Val” on the note pad attached to the suction note-pad holder stuck on the windshield. During my break I walked to the Dollar General Store next door to my office and picked out a Valentine Card. It wasn’t one of those gooey mushy ones, but it had the proper sentiment with a little humorous twist. Waiting in line to check out I noticed the display of single artificial roses so I bought one of those.

On the drive home I thought: I’ll rent a romantic chick video, and the mother of all romantic chick movies came to mind: “An Affair to Remember” with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. I stopped at the Movie Gallery but they didn’t have it.

When I got home I left the card and rose in the car (the romantic gesture was going to be a surprise in the morning). Just before dinner I telephoned the Blockbuster movie-rental store and they had a copy. I told Catherine I had to “go get something.”

After Catherine went to bed I put the card on the kitchen counter, laid the rose across the card and laid the movie next to them. Very romantic, don’t you think?

In the morning Catherine was very pleased and gave me hug. She said she had not gotten me a card. I said that was okay. After all, Valentine’s Day is really a day-long chick movie.

After work that evening it occurred to me that a single artificial rose doesn’t quite do it. It’s the thought that counts, as they say, but still, real flowers are better. So on the way home I stopped at a supermarket and bought a potted plant of tulips. A bunch of roses was $40. I wasn’t going to be that romantic and I wasn’t on the make.

During the week by the time dinner is over and we take our evening walk and do the other things to get ready for the next day, it’s too late to start a movie. We’d never stay awake to see the end. So, last night we had our Valentine Friday night at the movies and watched “An Affair to Remember.” It was made in 1957 and I was prepared to be a little disappointed and I think Catherine was too. But not so, it’s a very good movie and very romantic ” a first-class chick movie. It’s a little too hokey in places. The characters have very expensive life styles without any real explanation of where they get all their money. But what the hey, it’s a movie.

After the movie it was bedtime. The weather has cooled down to the 40’s at night. “Snuggling weather,” Catherine calls it. Cloe, our miniature poodle, snuggled between us and we all went to sleep.

Catherine may have had visions of Cary Grant dancing in her head. Me? I woke up during the night to go to the bathroom. And that was our Valentine’s Day.”


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