In a Sow’s Ear
Christmas is drawing nigh-er and nigh-er. Gewgaws, gadgets and gosh-all shout from store shelves: “Take me! Buy me! You can’t live without me! Me! Me!” Makes a person want to cover the ears and eyes and find a hidey hole.
ACLU and assorted varieties of religions ” apparently without enough useful things to do ” fuss about images, wordage and prayers in public institutions, at public events and on the fronts of coins. Duh. Mr. Gore invents squirrelly light bulbs to illuminate the altar in the Church of Global Warming from which he’ll be preaching endlessly.
On the other hand, the excitement of the Christmas season gets the blood whistling through the veins. You think fervent good wishes for the safety of the troops overseas and maybe knit an extra pair of socks or make an extra batch of mailable goodies.
You hear from folks you haven’t thought about all year. Relatives you forgot you had write or call. Radios play Christmas carols, popular tunes and silly ditties; television reruns every Disney/Christmas season movie from the last 50 years; new movies portray Santa and reindeer singing, dancing and cavorting. And I just learned that you can sign up to receive a phone call from the North Pole. (If you’re over 6 years old, I suggest you fib about your age).
You make lists: There’s gifts to send, gifts to wrap, food to cook, sweets to make and parties to attend. You try not to miss any of the stirring Christmas programs at schools and churches where choirs make rafters ring and hearts sing.
And you write Christmas cards to send to friends and family. Here’s mine: You can sing it if you’ve a mind to. Make up a tune.
Christmas time is here again.
Time to find some gifts
For my relatives and friends
Santa, please be swift.
Refrain: Well, it could be worse, it could be better, I might have to shop in really bad weather.
Brother Harry lives back east
Where it rains a lot.
Has a house and a nice green lawn
Harry knows he’s hot.
Refrain: Well, it could be worse, it could be better, He could fall down and take a header.
Brother Tom in Florida
Where the ‘gators swim.
Likes to take a walk at night
Gosh, that’s rather grim.
Refrain: Well, it could be worse, it could be better, he could trip and fall and wake up deader.
Sister Jean ” New Mexico
Likes to ride her horse.
In the ring around and round
Keeps her fit of course.
Refrain: Well, it could be worse, it could be better, she could be a bird without any feathers.
Nieces, nephews, got a lot.
Hard to keep them straight.
Scattered all around the globe
And also in the States.
Refrain: Well, it could be worse, it could be better, they could be a herd of Angus heifers.
Cousin Adlai and his wife.
Selma Lou’s a nag.
Criticizes all I do.
Makes me want to gag.
Refrain: Well, it could be worse, it could be better, I might just buy her a prickly sweater.
Holiday hype is on again
Stores are full of stuff.
Lots of folks to think about
In this Christmas rush.
Refrain: Well, it could be worse, it could be better but I’ll make this the very best Christmas ever! EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
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