In a Sow’s Ear 6-7-10 | TheFencePost.com

In a Sow’s Ear 6-7-10

The Geezers and Geezerettes Society is an organization you do not join, you don’t enlist, you don’t volunteer. No dues required. It’s free and open to all segments of live persons regardless of color, ethnicity, or don’t-ask-don’t-tell social orientation. Movie stars, rock stars and politicians are equally included in the G and G Society, but with more hype, plastic surgery and digital remastering.

If you can remember:

… making trips to the outhouse through drifted snow – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… red sawdust-sweeping compound – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… country school rooms with very little heat – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… beating black-board erasers full of chalk and then having a sneezing fit – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

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… when you thought the contents of other kids’ lunchboxes were better than yours, so you traded – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… the school coat closet was populated with leftover mismatched overshoes and mittens – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… the teacher who alternated wearing the same three or four dresses all year – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… when ringing the school bell made you feel important – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… Monkey Ward and Sawbuck catalogs were the only paper in the privy – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… pulling dark cotton stockings up over long handled underwear – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… the big-as-a-quarter button holding together the waistband of your black-satin gym bloomers – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… when all underwear dainties were peach in color? – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… garter belts – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… collecting scrap metal for the war effort – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… rationing – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… when you used to be able to sling a saddle with one hand onto your horse and now you need a ladder to get on and a committee to get you off – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… baling wire was the all purpose tool for fixing anything – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… listening to “Little Orphan Annie,” “The Lone Ranger” and “The Shadow Knows” on the radio – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… referring to your legs as “limbs” in the presence of a male person (and blushing) – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… “ladies” didn’t go into bars – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… “ladies” didn’t smoke – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

… when the roughest thing a boy might say about a girl: “Look at the swing on her back porch” – you might be a member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society.

And you really know you’re a confirmed and irreversible member of the Geezers and Geezerettes Society when “exercising” means working on those powerful muscles that let you sit for long periods of time.