In a Sow’s Ear 7-6-09 |

In a Sow’s Ear 7-6-09

I’m speaking of those “opinions” penned by badly informed beings who live on the City Folk planet. You know the one – where the only bare earth to be found is that which seeps up between cracks in the cement.

Wondering About Dress Codes

I’m investigating occupations and job opportunities Out West. I understand you have cattle guards. As a former security guard, I own several uniforms of dark green and khaki. Would these be suitable to guard cattle?

~ Ned Yonsson, New York City

Saving Snow

Driving through the Western states, I’ve noticed odd pieces of fence here and there. They seem to go nowhere and are attached to no other fence or structure. Occasionally, there will be two or even three rows on hill sides. I inquired about these configurations and was told they are placed at various locations for snow. Could someone explain what is done with the snow once it’s fenced in?

~ Lois Langley, Los Angeles

Job Layoffs Not Fair

It was with rising indignation that I read about the plight of cattle guards. Dismissing thousands of loyal guards is not only unfair, it’s immoral. Where will they find other work in these economically depressed times?

~ Mary Brown, Philadelphia

Festivals Cruel

I strongly object to Testicle Festival events. The practice in itself is sordid. No animal should be treated with such disrespect. I’m making it my personal business to write your Congress persons with a fervently worded plea to pass laws against such insane cruelty. How many bulls have to die each year to satisfy this repugnant custom?

~ Sammy Gayright, San Francisco.

Moving Day

It has come to my attention that cattle growers move cows. As a former UPS driver, as well as a long distance freight hauler, I would like to apply for a position as cow mover. I have block and tackle equipment of my own.

~ Dabney Doright, Chicago

Tasty Meat

I have my own cooking show in the City and often prepare beef dishes by marinating, sauteing and seasonings of various kinds. I have been informed that Out West, cattle raisers salt their cows. I find this practice intriguing. And efficient. How much salt do you have to sprinkle on an animal for the salt to be absorbed? If you could send me a sample of a salted cow, I would be happy to feature a cut of beef on my show. Naturally you would receive credit as cow donor.

~ Agnes Arrable, Atlanta

Animal Abuse

Recently I traveled throughout the western states. I saw countless fields where cows grazed. I am appalled to learn that those animals are left outside even in rainy or cold weather. Are there no shelters anywhere? What happens in winter? Does the SPCA know about this?

~ Wendy Whizzer, Washington D.C.

Beaver Games

While traveling in Montana, every so often I noticed a very tall wooden structure standing in the middle of a field. One side had what looked like a ramp slanting from the tip top to the ground. I was informed that these unusual edifices are called “beaver slides.” Though I never did see any beavers sliding, I want to compliment the owners. Providing a place for beavers to play is to be commended.

~ Bettina Buford, Baltimore

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