Laugh Tracks in the Dust 11-8-10 | TheFencePost.com
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Laugh Tracks in the Dust 11-8-10

Funny things happen in show rings around rural America and here’s a true such story from long ago. Only the names were changed or left out to protect the guilty.

Buck N. Stock wuz a famous rodeo stock contractor and a lover of anything related to horses.

One weekend he and two of his hired men were running a rodeo in northeast Kansas during a county fair. When the fair’s horse judge failed to show up for the show, ol’ Buck wuz recruited to judge the 4-H horse show, including the performance events.

This happenstance delighted Buck’s hired men who elbowed their way to the show ring rail to watch their boss’ every judging move.

Buck rolled through the halter classes with nary a glitch, but then the performance events began. Before long, a class of 4-H’ers entered the ring with their western pleasure mounts. It didn’t take but a few seconds for any knowledgeable horseman to see an obvious bottom to the class. It wuz a cute little girl whose horse wuz every bit the novice that its rider wuz. 

Now the two show ring kibitzers saw a ripe opportunity for some fun. They noticed that the little girl’s every-bit-involved-in-the-show mother wuz standing within earshot of any conversation they made. So, they began talking about the class in the ring.

As Buck pulled the little girl and her horse from the lineup and placed them at the bottom of the class, the kibitzers noted loud enuf for mother to hear, “Well, he got that right – starting off with the clear winner.”

But then as Buck began his trip selecting toward the top of the entrants, the kibitzers began to question his judging skills. “What’s he doing? That doesn’t look right to me! Surely he’s not going from the bottom to the top!”

About then, Buck gave his placements to the fair official and gave his reasons for the class. 

The kibitzers volunteered just loud enuf, “What the heck? That old man doesn’t know a performance horse from a jackass. That little gal he put on the bottom was clearly the best. Glad my kid ain’t showing under him.”

Well, you guessed it. When Buck exited the ring, he wuz confronted by a very agitated and angry mother-of-the-bottom-of the class. She chewed Buck up one side, spit him out, and chewed him up the other side. All the while, ol’ Buck wuz apologizing to the mother and trying to explain his decision – none of which mother accepted.

Naturally, the two kibitzers had melted back into the crowd and wuz nowhere to be seen.

Later that evening after the rodeo performance, Buck and his two henchmen were riding back home and the horse show “just happened” to arise in the conversation. Buck explained the confrontation with the unhappy mother and hoped to get a little sympathy from his buds. None wuz forthcoming.

All through the conversation in the dark, the two kibitzers were grinning to themselves, elbowing each other in the ribs, and thoroughly enjoying their boss’s discomfort over making a 4-H mother so mad.

Eventually, they couldn’t contain themselves and burst into laughter. That’s when Buck put one and one together and got two pranking wiseacres for an answer.

That’s when they got their well-deserved butt chewing from their boss. But, I’ll bet they never once regretted their prank.

***

Got this Ole joke e-mailed to me. Ole applied for a fermentation operator post at a newly-built ethanol plant in Nebraska. He wuz one of two applicants for the job and both applicants had similar qualifications. They were asked to take a test by the manager.  

When the results were in, Ole and the other guy scored 19 out of 20. The manager went to Ole and said, “Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the other guy the job.”  

Ole questioned back, “And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Nebraska and me being a dyed-in-the-wool Nebraskan, surely I should get the job.”  

The manager answered, “We made our decision, not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong.”  

An agitated Ole responded, “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?”  

The manager said, “Simple. On question number 7 the other guy wrote down, ‘I don’t know.’ You put down, ‘Neither do I.'”

***

Enuf of this drivel for this week. Until next week, remember this job quote from the famous Will Rogers: “The man with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?'”

Have a good ‘un.


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