Mad Jack Hanks: Some sad tales deserve reflection | TheFencePost.com

Mad Jack Hanks: Some sad tales deserve reflection

Every now and then, gentle readers, I come across cute little tid bits that I want to share with you. Most of these were written by that lady by the name of Ann Onimus. She can be very, very clever. Here goes:

I have been told to get my butt in gear, but I am totally shiftless. I tried workin' in a muffler shop but it was just too exhausting. Then I tried being a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it.

So I worked as a lumberjack, but I got fired. They said I just couldn't cut it so they gave me the ax. Once I even tried to be a historian until I came to the realization that there just wasn't any future in it. I tried being a professional fisherman, but I just couldn't live off of my net income. Get it?

Here's one of my own:

“I have a couple of stories that are not cute at all. I put them in that ‘sad, but true’ category.”

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I took a shot at being a police officer, but I somehow missed.

Here's another: I tried being a hangman once but I just couldn't get the hang of it. And last but not least: Beating a dead horse will only increase your frustration because there is no way yer gonna' get a kick out of it.

That should be enough to have you gaggin' over the toilet by now.

I have a couple of stories that are not cute at all. I put them in that "sad, but true" category.

Don't ever blow your nose in front of the governor. Nope. It's true, I had to fire one of my cowboys or possibly lose my own job if I didn't.

I hated that job and the folks I worked for at the time.

This is one of the saddest of all.

You take your kids to Disney World and your two year old is dragged out in the water and drowned by an alligator. I just can't imagine trying to pull him out of the gator's jaws, as his dad did, only to see them slip under the water and disappear.

Your beautiful daughter who is a rodeo queen and has just graduated from high school has been kidnapped and murdered. How do you overcome that? Mom and Dad, my heart is breaking for you as I write this and I send to you, as I'm sure all of my readers do, our deepest sympathies!

You are on our minds and in our hearts and we pray for you and yours. Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and take the opportunity to hug your children whenever you can. I'll c. y'all, all y'all. ❖