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Mad Jack Hanks: Tales from the O-NO Ranch 1-2-12

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Well gentle readers, I know who I am and you know who you are I bet. It appears to me that there can be some folks out there from time to time that are someone totally different than they have led us to believe or they are living vicariously through someone else or some figment of their imagination.

I have gotten hooked on watching Dateline NBC and Paula Zahn, older segments of solving murder mysteries. I want to tell you about one that I was fascinated with.

Some of you may have seen this and I hope to get most of my less valuable facts straight. Here we have a 47-year-old ex-marine who is married with two children. He has gone on the computer and gets involved in a chat room with others. His tag is “marinesniper.” Here comes a message one day from “tallhotblonde.”



She has taken an interest in this “marinesniper” and she has sent him a picture of herself. She indeed is a tall hot blonde and not only that, she is only 17 years of age and still in high school. Right away our marine knows he is going to have to be someone else than who he really is. He sends her a photo of himself when he in fact was an 18-year-old marine. Their messages grow stronger and stronger and she has fallen in love with this young marine and he has flipped totally for this hot young blonde.

His wife has discovered what he has been doing on the computer and sends “tallhotblone” a family photo of her 47-year-old, balding, pot bellied heart throb and his wife and kids. Blondie responds with a terrible belittling of her marine for misleading her. He is devastated.



Our marine works at a manufacturing plant where one of his young male coworkers has also been in the chat room and calls himself “muscleman.” He is a handsome husky 19-year-old male. The marine discovers the next time he goes online that his young friend from work is flirting with “tallhotblone” and she is flirting back. This upsets him greatly but there is just not much he can do about it. To his surprise blondie begins to flirt with him again telling him she can forgive him for misleading her but she still thinks of him as an 18-year-old marine sniper about to be shipped off to the middle east and she wants to remain friends. He’s back in the saddle again and it appears that she is still romantically interested in him but still flirts with “muscleman.”

He is so outraged with his younger competition that he ambushes him one night after work and shoots and kills the young man at the work site on the parking lot. After some investigation the cops have figured out who the killer is and go to arrest him.

His wife doesn’t know where he is, he just left and has been gone for a while. Their concern now is for “tallhotblone” as she may be the next victim of this maniac so they notify the state police in the adjoining state where this young girl lives to be on the lookout for him and they are headed in that direction themselves.

The state police go to the young girl’s home and are greeted at the door by her mother. The girl is at school and they tell her mom what has been going on with the computer and there is a mad man maybe on his way here to kill her daughter. They are astounded, as I was, when she tells them that SHE has been living vicariously through her daughter and SHE is “tallhotblone” and her daughter has no clue what her mother has been doing.

“Tallhotblone” is an overweight, sagging 47-year-old woman with bleached hair.

Our marine is caught and convicted of murder and sent to the pen for the rest of his life. A young life snuffed out over two adults living in a fantasy world. Just call me “tallbaldoldcowboy” and I bet I don’t get in any trouble.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and have a wonderful new year. I’ll c. y’all, all y’all.


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