Mad Jack Hanks: Tales from the O-NO Ranch 11-14-11 | TheFencePost.com

Mad Jack Hanks: Tales from the O-NO Ranch 11-14-11

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

I would bet, gentle readers, that most of you have seen the television show, “Hee Haw.” It’s an old, old show but it is still seen on the RFD channel.

On one of the segments ol’ Grandpa is ask, “What’s for dinner Grandpa?” and he goes on to describe the meal about to be put on the table. I feel at times like ol’ Grandpa, mostly because I am a grandpa and I fix all of my meals since I lost my wife almost 10 years ago. I didn’t learn to cook over night, however the end result of my efforts have served me, for the most part, pretty well. Today is Sunday and for dinner I fixed pork cutlets, green beans, sweet potatoes, fried onion rings, gravy and toast.

Sounds like a big effort for one ol’ grandpa, right? Not really. The yams came out of a can and I added butter and brown sugar. The green beans were also from a can. The gravy came from a package mix, which, by the way is really easy to make and better and more healthy than making it from scratch. I cut up the onions and dipped them in my pork mix which was crushed crackers, some flower, milk and eggs. I will admit that too many times I just take a pizza out of a cardboard box, or have a sandwich, soup or can of chili. It mostly depends on how busy I am at the time and how hungry I am.

Ol’ Howard down at the T Bar Inn is usually on my case about not working hard enough. He’ll ask, “Yeah, and what are you gonna’ do today?”

“Oh, not much I reckon,” usually is my reply.

Truth is, I have already made my bed, fed the horses and Clancy the wonder dog. When I get home I will fix a big breakfast of eggs, bacon, biscuits and maybe even gravy. Of course I have to clean up afterwards, then usually there is a load of laundry to do, firewood to split and maybe even snow that has to be shoveled. During the course of the day if it’s really cold and miserable, I will draw cartoons, iron clothes and if the house needs any cleaning, it gets done.

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I’m not exactly a neat freak but I am a clean freak. Okay, okay so I am some sort of a freak combination of cowboy, writer, cartoonist, humorist, biker, country and western dancer and public nuisance at times. Between Uncle Sam and my mother I was encouraged to keep not only myself neat if possible but my surroundings as well. It’s hard to be neat preg-checkin’ cows or being busy in the branding pen. Most of that is behind me now but still there is some ranch work to do here on my little place. Scooping poop, workin’ on ol’ Alice my tractor, and trimming horses feet. I, of course, clean up afterward. That’s just in my DNA.

Now ol’ Howard will go home and feed and clean out his horse runs and he’s through for the day. I couldn’t tell y’all what’s for dinner tomorrow ’cause right now, I don’t have a clue. I did fix up a big croc pot of homemade chili a couple of days ago and I make a pretty good meatloaf. Beef stew, Mexican salads, cornbread, spaghetti, fresh fruit salads and cakes are within my capabilities and yes, I eat my broccoli. I try to eat good food most of the time but am guilty of diggin’ into the bag of Cheetos, or Pringles and of course, chocolate. It’s good for you, you know that don’t ya?

Okay, I’m done as the Broncos are about ready to play. Hope ol’ Tebo does good and I’ll just tell y’all to stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c y’all, all y’all.