Mad Jack Hanks: Tales from the O-NO Ranch 2-27-12 | TheFencePost.com

Mad Jack Hanks: Tales from the O-NO Ranch 2-27-12

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Gentle readers, there has at times been much discussion around the campfire, the bunk house and the local cafe or bar about the “smarts” that a cowboy or cowgirl might have in between their ears. Personally, I think most cowboys, we’re talkin’ working ranch cowboys, feed lot cowboys or cowboys that have fallen on hard times and had to wrangle “dudes” to get by for a while are usually pretty savvy.

Now I don’t consider most bull riders to be cowboys. I do realize they carry that tag because they dress up like cowboys when they perform in the arena. There are exceptions, of course, as there are working ranch cowboys that come to town to ride bulls or rough stock during the local rodeo. To me, a “cowboy” is someone who works on a ranch and looks after someone else’s cattle. It’s just that plain and simple.

With that out of the way let me get to the subject matter once again. Most cowboys are comfortable pokin’ fun at themselves and any one else that is handy they feel needs to be stirred up a little. Now my poem … The Cowboy Brain. (As a sidebar, I do admire anyone that rides rough stock, real cowboy or not.)

The Cowboy Brain

The cowboy brain is hard to explain,

is it part of their soul

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Or just up there pluggin a hole?

Jest give me a sec to lay it all out

and you’ll be amazed, there ain’t no doubt.

 

The year is now 2045 and scientist have

found more ways to keep us alive.

Yessir, their latest discovery or slant

is a way to give us a brain transplant.

Her husband was ill with

a cancer in his head,

without this new procedure

he soon would be dead.

She went to the clinic where

the brains were stored.

They were stacked in jars

from the ceiling to the floor.

 

“Who’s brains am I viewing,

what type of brains are available to me?”

“Well, ma’am, we have cowboy brains

and brains from nuclear scientist

With an I.Q. of 163.”

 

“We have brains from doctors, lawyers,

strippers, housewives, bikers and such.

We’ll have what ya need and some just

don’t cost all that much.”

 

“What are your prices?” she ask

with baited breath.

“You can get a cowboy’s brain for

half a million or a doctor’s brain

For three hundred thousand less.”

 

“A cowboy’s brain, why so much?

I am really confused.”

The doc replied, “It’s simple really,

the cowboy’s brain is so expensive

Because IT’S NEVER BEEN USED!”

 

Stay tuned, dear children, check

yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. y’all,

all y’all.