Mad Jack Hanks: Tales from the O-NO Ranch 3-5-12 | TheFencePost.com

Mad Jack Hanks: Tales from the O-NO Ranch 3-5-12

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Yep, gentle readers, in a few more weeks it will be time for us here in the country to be watchful for those pesky rattlers. They will be coming out of their winter hibernation and wanting to warm up and find a good meal. As most of you know I am not a fan of rattle snakes. I kill them where ever I find them.

I had a horse bitten last year and that can be a costly recovery if things don’t go well. He was bitten on the nose and suffered greatly. I have had rattlers in the garage, flower bed, my yard and any and every where. I almost stepped on one in the back yard and again out at my mailbox.

I was watching the Discovery Channel last night and it was about folks that try to entertain crowds by playing with dangerous vipers. In this case, rattlesnakes.

We have to go to Texas for this little story. Oh boy, Texas again. Well, it appears this old redneck who considered himself an up and coming snake charmer was going to set a new record for climbing in a sleeping bag full of diamondback rattlers. He would need to have at least 21 snakes in the bag with him before he could set a new record. Come on now Charlie Brown, how stupid can you be? Is it bravado, lack of common sense or just being one of those, “Hey y’all, watch this” kind of guys?

The day before his stunt he convinced a young woman to participate by crawling in there with him. Boy would that ever be something to be talked about for years to come. In their practice run with both of them in the sleeping bag head to toe with 17 rattlers, one snake gets angry and bites him on the back of the head. He remains calm if you can call it that but the girl is wanting to get out of Dodge! They remove all the snakes, the girl gets out and the old feller is examined and it is discovered that the bite apparently did not break the skin.

Now, folks, I’m going to take a wild guess here and suppose that maybe, just maybe these guys are smart enough to milk the venom out of these snakes before they do these stunts. Wouldn’t you?

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Anyhooo, the next day when it’s show time and the crowd has gathered, the girl has flat out refused to participate. So our old snake charmer gets in the bag, they put 23 diamond back rattlers in there with him. Then they zip the bag up with just him and the snakes. Man that is one smart feller in there with them snakes don’t you guys think? Not! I digress!

They unzip the bottom of the bag where his feet are and grab him by his ankles and just drag him out. Right about now he is feeling like King Kong. He is the man of the hour. After all, he just spent about 10 minutes in a sleeping bag with a bunch of rattlesnakes. Just looking at the crowd around him I saw this look on their faces, “Man is that the dumbest thing you ever seen in your life?” That’s exactly the way I felt.

Oh well, to each his own. Please don’t try this at home. I think it is only done by brain dead, lonely people that need lots of attention. Too bad it had to be in the old country, Texas.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. y’all, all y’all.