Mad Jack Hanks: Tales from the O-NO Ranch | TheFencePost.com

Mad Jack Hanks: Tales from the O-NO Ranch

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Judge Roy Bean administered justice West of the Pecos in the late 1800s. In my mind, gentle readers, I fanaticize about the crusty old Judge taking care of our nation’s business the way they handled law breakers back in his day.

For instance: if some ole lady pulled into the drive through at Billy Jack’s Bonus Burger, ordered a hot cup of coffee and then placed it in her lap and tried to open the top while she was driving and scalded herself when she tried to open it, I think the old judge would do this. “Ma’am, due to your stupidity and lack of common sense I will not allow you to sue ole Billy Jack. In fact, I want you to pay Billy Jack for his inconvenience in this matter!”

If someone broke into your house and stole anything of real value and you shot and wounded them as they made their get-a-way, Judge Roy Bean would have your wounds patched up enough so you could make it to your public hangin’ next Tuesday. As a result I think that most folks that made it to the hangin’ or heard about it would be less likely to want to commit a like crime.

I see where the E.P.A. is trying to get legislation passed that would reduce the out put of coal fired electrical plants by a whopping 8-percent. The old Judge, in my little world, would do away with the E.P.A. You see, since the E.P.A. was founded, they have raised the cost of producing our electrical power astronomically! In our sister State of Wyoming, a situation like that would cost thousands and thousands of jobs.

When folks decide that they are entitled to this or that and riot when they don’t get it, I think Judge Roy Bean would have all the escape exits blocked off and round up every one involved in these riots and put them all in a public work camp where they would be required to pick up litter along our roadways and clean up their trash in neighborhoods until there was not a scrap of trash anywhere. They would receive the processed meals that our fighting men and women get when they are in the field. They would have port-a-potties available and be furnished a pair of gloves and a 10 minute break every hour. After a period of several weeks of this intense labor they would receive a check for $6 an hour for their work and a tin of Udder Butter for the blisters on their hands.

Folks, the way I see it, political correctness has ambushed common sense in this great land of ours and we need someone to step up and put things in order the way they would be if the old Judge was runnin’ the show.

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That’s my opinion of our current state of affairs and I’m stickin’ to it. Go Michelle, you go girl!!

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. y’all, all y’all!