Mad Jack Hanks: Tales from the O-NO Ranch 4-23-12 |

Mad Jack Hanks: Tales from the O-NO Ranch 4-23-12

I do believe, gentle readers, that most of us, if not all of us want to age well. By that I mean we would like to look as good as possible for as long as we can until we reach the point of just not giving a hoot one way or the other. In a few short days I will have number 72! I don’t feel like I am supposed to be 72 but that’s what my birth certificate and the calendar indicate. I doubt if there is going to be anyone that mistakes me for being 52. I’m just grateful to have lived as long as I have without a lot of serious illness.

When “little Miss Martha” was alive we both enjoyed hangin’ with folks that were younger than ourselves. We always had a youthful spirit and believe me she could hang with folks 10 years her junior and no one would know the difference. She always looked young and beautiful until the cancer took over. She was still beautiful to me at the most dreadful of times. I will have to be honest here and tell you that if she hadn’t passed away I most likely would not be in the good shape that I am in now. I would not be going swimming every week or dancing twice a week nor would I be as careful about what I eat and how much I eat.

I have always felt more comfortable around people that were a few years younger than myself and still do. My girlfriend is addicted to exercise and her dedication has worked well for her.

I saw on the news the other night where an award was given to this lady in Denver that had been and still was teaching an exercise class I believe for over 40 years. She is 95-years-old and wears out most of her younger students during their classes. I couldn’t believe all of the different exercises she was demonstrating for the television camera. Whoa! What a gal!

Speaking of television, you wont see an anchor man that doesn’t have hair like an evangelist and a square jaw like that California Gov … what was his name? Schwarzenegger?

The female anchors have to be pretty, well dressed and well spoken and mostly not showing too many wrinkles. Smart and beautiful, that’s what it’s come down to in this country. Well, I take that back you can be smart and not so beautiful and I offer up Bill Gates and James Carval as examples. Just kidding of course.

We had a news weather reporter once in Amarillo by the name of Bill ———-. Bill could pass for Howdy Doodie as a look a like. He was alerting the Amarillo area of a severe weather system that was fast approaching. “Expect extreme lightning and heavy PEA and rain sized hail!” said Bill. Bill was always smiling regardless of what disaster might be behind the curtains. Bill was let go not too long after that. No, he wasn’t pretty and he wasn’t always well spoken, but by golly, Bill was always smiling.

I think if you care about your looks as you get older you can get a Lifestyle Lift that pulls most of the wrinkles out of your face. However if your body has fallen apart I wouldn’t worry so much about getting’ that done. Exercise, exercise and more exercise will help you to look younger and feel younger and it won’t hurt to eat an orange every day and a salad a couple of times a week. There again if you are comfortable being overweight and out of shape and listless and just don’t give a darn … I’d say expect your spouse to upgrade your life insurance policies and don’t be offended when they do.

Old age is what ya make of it gentle readers, and I’m gonna’ make mine last as long as I’m comfortable on this old earth.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c y’all, all y’all.

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Mad Jack Hanks

What’s new with you?


Well now, here’s what’s new with me right off the bat. I’ll go in to have this metal taken out of my leg that was placed there when I got bucked off two years ago.…

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