Mad Jack Hanks: Tales From the O-NO Ranch 7-16-12
Gentle readers, I do feel like singing a new song or any song for that matter on this Saturday morn.
The O-NO got another inch of good ole slow rain that I had prayed for a couple of weeks back. I had gotten almost an inch just about 10 days ago. I have to tell ya these short grass prairies can rebound and green up faster than Joe Biden can cover his mouth after a miscue.
I was sitting on the front deck with a cup of cowboy coffee just watching an antelope lope across the fast turning pasture. Now I wonder if the antelope got part of his name from his loping skills? Hummmm?
Back to a new song. It was just the other day I was in me Lazy Boy with a brain that was null and void or so it seemed. All of a sudden out of nowhere came a few words that rhymed and there seemed to be a jingle runnin’ right along side of it. Strange isn’t it how that happens? Actually, I think it only happens to strange people such as myself. I rose from the Lazy Boy, retrieved my guitar and started to put a little song together. I call it Red’s Cabaret.
I went to Nashville to pick and to sing.
I knew music city held captive my dreams.
I played for the big boys and gave it a shot.
After a short discussion they said to me,
“I reckon not!”
Ya need to play and be able to sing,
to tell ya the truth, we ain’t heard a thing!
Ya need a rip in yer jeans & hair like the king.
This here is Nashville and it’s
all about BLING.
If you want a place to sing and to play
ya need to go to Tucson to Red’s Cabaret.
Red’s is a place where anything goes,
Willie got started there a’singin’
through his nose.
Red’s got back up music & a live microphone.
If the crowd don’t clap, they may be stoned.
That’s our advice, all we can say,
just pack yer guitar and head to Red’s Cabaret.
So I packed my guitar & by thumb I did go
plumb across Texas and New Mexico.
I landed in Tucson at two in the morn.
I said to myself, “Self, a star is born!”
I followed the bright lights, stepped into Red’s.
The dance floor was empty and
the place it was dead.
Took out my guitar, started singin’ my song.
A man soon appeared & it didn’t take long.
Red, he comes over and gave me a glance,
said, “Son, ya need hair like Elvis and
a rip in yer pants, to tell ya the truth,
I ain’t heard a thing,
I need a man that can play and
one that can sing!”
Red finally hired me after hearing my plea,
fed me a taco & told me to roll up my sleeves.
Instead of a mic, I’m holdin’ a mop & a broom
a’singin’ my heart out
cleanin’ the men’s restin’ room.
I’m singin’ at Red’s six nights a week,
He’s feedin’ me tacos & boardin’ my keep.
My pickin’ and singin’ gets better it seems,
so I’m headed to Nashville
to capture my dreams!
Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c y’all, all y’all. ❖
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