Mad Jack: Tales from the O-NO Ranch |

Mad Jack: Tales from the O-NO Ranch

by “Mad” Jack Hanks

Wellington, Colo.


Ya know, gentle readers, I just never cared much for that Whassup? commercial on T.V. Beats me why I decided to use it for a lead in on my column today.

Well, anyhoo, here’s what’s up: today is Saturday the 29th of June, it’s 2:15 in the afternoon and it is hotter than single wide trailer in Yuma City, Ariz., with no swamp cooler in August! Our little heat gauge showed an even 100 degrees in the shade of our back deck.

Every couple of hours I step outside and pour a little cold water down the back of the ole dog who’s been walkin’ in circles and slobberin’ all over the back deck.

It appears that we could see some thunderstorms later this afternoon. I said, see some thunderstorms because that’s exactly what we will do if there are any around. We’ll see ’em as they pass by the O-NO Ranch.

While it’s true we did get a couple of inches of rain the first few days of June and the grass did green up and I did put some of Joe’s big ole ropin’ steers out to pasture, the crick has dried up and so has the grass. At the rate we are goin’ this summer, there won’t be any grass left in about 20 minutes from now.

I did hear a little roar of thunder just a few minutes ago and that only means one thing ” my dog will be leaving home shortly if I don’t go out and chain her up. She’s not the smartest dog in the circus. Every time a storm comes up, she runs away. First, down to the crick (where there will be no water) and then she goes to one of the neighbors as if she will be safe there instead of here. They call me, I go get my stupid dog and she is delighted to see me come rescue her and take her back home … where all of this started in the first place. Go figure.

It’s been purty much goin’ to the Cancer Center every day so little Miss Martha can get her treatments and she’s pretty well burned up from radiation and bummed out. She is going to take a few weeks off from her treatment and try to regain some strength and get over some of the pain and soreness that goes with it all. Again, Martha and I cannot begin to express our sincere THANKS for all of the calls, cards, letters and e-mails that we have received from you wonderful folks out there. It really and truly warms our hearts to know that so many of you care and have taken the time to show us that you care.

I hope that ya’ll ” or maybe I should use the plural, all ya’ll ” survived the fourth of July with all of yer fingers and no fires to fight. It has been a dreadful year for fires across the West and especially here in beautiful Colorado. One reason for some of these fires is too much fuel. Yep, when the radicals get their way, you’ll no longer be able to graze the fuel on the forest floor or thin out the overcrowded forest to help it maintain a healthy system, you’ll get a fire started in a dry year like this year and it’ll be, “JEEPERS CREEPERS, BATMAN, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT FIRE!” Oh well, that’s another column for another day. I just wanted to remind our frizzed-haired, save the earth, save the forest, save the prairie dog, save the snail darters, save the desert turtles, and save Peter, Paul and Mary crowd that again I am RIGHT and they once again are misled!

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll C. ya.


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