Milo Yield: Laugh Tracks in the Dust 10-10-11
This past week wuz one of the best of the year for me. My near-lifelong buddy from New Mexico, ol’ Elpee Peavine, and his grown sons from Austin, Texas, and Albuquerque, N.M., came with him. We spent four hard days of fishing and were laughing all the time we weren’t sleeping.
And, a real funny thing happened. Two years ago when Elpee wuz up here fishing, we were fishing in a big pond with lots of big channel catfish in it. While I was putting a bluegill in the fish basket, I asked Elpee to “watch” my fishing pole which wuz baited for catfish. A few seconds after I turned my back, I heard a splash and when I turned around Elpee told me that a fish had pulled my entire rod and reel into the water and he laughingly said he’d “watched” it go.
We’ve laughed about that incident ever since it happened and I’ve given him a hard time about his inattentiveness to my fishing pole and how much it cost me to replace it.
Well, this year we were fishing the north end of the same pond when the owner, my buddy Lon G. Horner, drove up in his utility vehicle and told Elpee to get in for a little ride.
Fifteen minutes later they returned and Elpee said he had something to give me. He then reached into the back of the UTV and handed me my long-lost fishing pole and reel. Both were caked in mud and the cork handle of the rod wuz long gone.
What had happened wuz the water level during this year’s drought had dropped down and ol’ Lon had discovered my long-lost rod and reel laying on top of the dried mud about 100 feet from where it had been pulled from the bank two years ago.
Well, that’s only half of the story. Three days later I took the Peavine fellers to a nice watershed lake 20 miles from home. It has a nice fishing dock, plus it’s easy to fish from the bank.
We’d been there a few hours and Elpee decided to relax and bait fish from the dock. He had two poles baited. His heaviest rod and reel wuz baited with a big crawdad and tight-lined on the bottom. The other rod wuz rigged with a worm and bobber.
Elpee caught a small bass on the worm and bobber and wuz taking it off the line when a big bass or catfish inhaled the crawdad and zipped ol’ Elpee’s rod and reel right out from under his feet and “splash” it went into the lake.
I doubled up laughing so hard and jokingly told Elpee, “Ol’ buddy, what goes around comes around.”
We both threw big treble hooks and dragged them along the bottom hoping to “hook” Elpee’s “swimming” rod, but to no avail. It’s now resting among the “fishies” and probably will be permanently.
Got a story sent to me about an ol’ country boy named Wolf deGrubb who went to his wheat association’s annual banquet in Denver, Colo. While he wuz in the big city, Wolf went to a fancy five-star restaurant and ordered a big slab of barbeque ribs.
A big eater, Wolf wuz tearing the meat from a bone so fast that he accidently ingested a chunk of bone and began to choke on it.
As Wolf started turning blue, the waiter yelled “Is there a doctor in the house?” Within seconds a man rushed to Wolf’s side, announced that he wuz a doctor and that he’d perform a Heimlich Maneuver. Which he did and the rib bone popped out of Wolf’s throat.
As Wolf’s breath and voice returned and he started to regain his normal color, he said, “I’m ever so grateful, doctor. How can I ever repay you?”
The doctor smiled and said, “I’ll settle for one-tenth of what you were willing to pay while you were choking.”
Also heard about two little country boys who were sitting on the front porch talking.
One little boy turned to the other little boy and said, “My grandfather has a wooden leg.”
Not to be outdone, the other little boy replied, “So what? I heard my grandma say she has a cedar chest.”
Guess that’s sufficient storytelling for this week. So, what better way to quit for the week than with a great quote about storytelling. Russell Banks said, “Storytelling is an ancient and honorable act. An essential role to play in the community or tribe. It’s one that I embrace wholeheartedly and have been fortunate enough to be rewarded for.”
Pretty much the story of my life, too. Have a good ‘un.
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