Milo Yield: Laugh Tracks in the Dust 12-19-11 | TheFencePost.com

Milo Yield: Laugh Tracks in the Dust 12-19-11

Just in case you’ve ever wondered why the price of gasoline and lubricating oil is high, I recently got a glimmer of why.

A feller from our home county has a job running a drilling rig in the oil fields near Casper, Wyo. Recently, he came home for a visit and told a friend of mine that he wuz going to Oklahoma City to supervise the transportation of a new drilling rig from OKC to Casper. Here’s what he told my friend about the expense involved.

It was going to take 85 semi-trailers to carry the rig and 83 of the loads were in some way or another oversized and would require transportation permits (I’d guess both state and federal) and highway escorts. 

The driller said the cost of the transportation would be upwards of $2 million.

Folks, that’s just to move the rig. It’s not including the purchase price, the cost of setting the rig up to drill, nor the costs involved in hiring a crew to run the rig.

They’re going to have to bring a lot of barrels of oil to the surface just to cover the transportation costs. If oil sells at $100 per barrel, the company will have to pump 20,000 barrels just to break even on the transportation.

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Just something to think about the next time you fill your gas tank.

***

The Kansas deer hunting season is winding down and my good friend, ol’ Rollin Birdz, has a story to share.

On the third day of the season, Rollin braved the winds, rain, and chill to sit in the deer blind that he and I built a couple of weeks ago. 

Just as heavy dusk, Rollin spotted a nice buck near the river bank not far from his home. One shot – one deer – and one big problem. The doomed buck had dropped over the steep river bank. 

The bank wuz way too steep and deep for Rollin to even think about retrieving his deer by hand, so he fetched up his trusty Gator UTV and a rope to get the job done.

Rollin successfully negotiated the river bank – thankfully the buck wuzn’t in the water because the creek is barely running because of the drought – and figgered the easiest way to drag the buck out wuz to attach the rope to the handiest fixture the buck had – his antlers.

However, when Rollin tried to pull his winter’s venison out of the creek, the buck’s antlers embedded deeply into the creek bank clay and it wouldn’t pull out.

So, Rollin got another rope which he negotiated around one of the buck’s hind feet and after a hard struggle finally got the deer’s hindquarters up over the creek bank and, with that rope, wuz finally successful in extricating his venison from the creek bank.

Thankfully, all’s well that ends well. Rollin processed his deer at home and just yesterday provided a big pot of luscious venison stew for the gaggle of geezers who gathered here at Damphewmore Acres for a day of card playing, imbibing of our favorite beverages, and storytelling – I’m sure mostly lies.

***

Another of my good friends, Mocephus, installed a new automatic waterer for his beef cows to enjoy drinking from this winter. However, on the first night the temperature dropped into the teens and Mo discovered the next morning that his new waterer wuz frozen up.

So, he opened the panel and checked the wiring and could find no problem. So, he went to the farm store where he bought the waterer to see if the seller could provide an answer to the problem.

The store owner told Mo to check and see how the thermostat wuz set. Sure enuf, when Mo got home, he looked more closely as the controls and there on the panel in bold letters were instructions on how to set the thermostat temperature.

The “fix” involved turning the dial on the thermostat. My advice to Mo wuz, “next time read the instructions.”

***

An elderly farmer went to the doctor for a checkup and the doc pronounced his fit as a fellow 20 years younger. The doc asked if the farmer had any idea why he wuz in such good physical shape.

The farmer replied, “I’ve lived most all my life outdoors. I’ve been married to the same woman for more than 50 years. On our honeymoon we came to an agreement that if she ever disagreed with me, she’d confront me, clear the air and express all her emotions and feelings. And, we agreed that if I ever had a disagreement with her or thought she wuz wrong in any way, I’d take a long walk or work on something outdoors until I got over it. I guess that’s why I spent most of my life outdoors and am so healthy today.”

***

I’ve overrun my quota of words for the week, so I’ll close with a few words of wisdom about the outdoors from Dr. Sara Murray Jordan. She said, “A much more effective and lasting method of facelifting than surgical technique is happy thinking, new interests and outdoor exercise.”

I’m tired. Think I’ll go take a nap for my day’s exercise. Have a good ‘un.