Milo Yield: Laugh Tracks in the Dust 3-25-13
Finally got some blessed runoff from a bit of snowmelt and an inch or more of rain. My pond went from perilously low to within a couple feet of being full. I’m sure the fish welcome the reprieve. I know I’m thankful.
It’s a curse for us wordsmiths that we’re always in proofreading mode. I can’t help myself for constantly seeing misspelled or misused words in news stories, on signs, on labels, and even on television.
My most recent story along these lines occurred just last weekend during a basketball game I was watching on TV.
At the start of the game, the technical crew wuz having difficulty getting the broadcast working, so the TV station put a “scroll” across the bottom of the screen. It said, “We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please, bare with us.”
I immediately saw in my mind’s eye a television crew disrobing at the station and I thought, “What the heck. They apparently want company.”
So I started to oblige their request to bare with them, but I had scarcely gotten my sweat shirt off when ol‘ Nevah intervened and said she’d both turn her head and turn the TV off if I continued baring myself. So, I quit, but I still couldn’t get that TV station picture out of my imagination.
So, I ask: Where have all the proofreaders gone? I might add that I make more than my share of “word” mistakes, and they gripe me most of all.
During all my years afield hunting and fishing, with buddies near and far, I’ve witnessed some amazing stuff — unconscious shots, equally unbelievable missed shots, astounding points and retrieves by bird dogs, fish caught by mistake, fish lost out of ignorance, been stuck and stranded in places that didn’t make sense, and extracted myself from some of the same nasty predicaments.
You get the picture. I’ve either been a part of, or heard of, a lot of good stories — both funny and serious.
Which brings me to another bird hunting story that the teller swears is true. It happened years ago when pheasant numbers were high in western Kansas.
A group of three pheasant hunters were on the last day of their hunting trip. They’d gotten their limits of pheasants every day of the trip, but were four birds short on their last day.
They were worn out and and were road hunting — I know, it’s illegal to road hunt, but that’s what they were doing anyway, and it’s an integral part of this story.
Two guys were in the front seat of their SUV and the third guy wuz sitting in the back seat with his bird dog and the dog had its head sticking out the back window, as dogs are prone to do.
They weren’t driving very fast and were enjoying the respite from walking while casually glancing into the ditches for pheasants.
All of a sudden, the guy in the backseat yells, “Whoa! I think ol’ Pete just went on point right here in the back seat. I think we’d better check it out.”
And, that’s what they did. They drove a bit farther up the road, loaded their shotguns again, let ol’ Pete out of the vehicle and walked back in the direction from which they’d driven.
Sure enuf, within a few yards ol’ Pete went on point again and the hunting party flushed four cock pheasants out of the ditch and harvested all four of them.
I don’t blame you if you don’t believe this story. It’s pretty far-fetched. But, I’ve seen bird dogs make some amazing points, just never a vehicle.
Frankly, I think the dog part of the story is more plausible than the part about the hunters going four for four shooting all the pheasants in the ditch. Anyway, truth or fiction, it makes a good hunting story— and I’ve shared it with you.
Someone sent me a quote allegedly made years ago by scientist Albert Einstein. He said: “I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.”
When I look around me at all the folks with their faces and their ears stuck to their electronic devices, including myself, I fear that Einstein may have been right.
Now for the words of wisdom for the week. Only in America, could a politician talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000-a-plate fund-raising event. Only in America, could folks who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as “extremists.” And, only in America, could folks need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol … but not to vote.
Have a good ’un. ❖
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The Agriculture Department’s Risk Management Agency on Tuesday announced that changes to its Livestock Risk Protection insurance plan will take effect on Jan. 20 for crop year 2021 and succeeding crop years.