Milo Yield: Laugh Tracks in the Dust 8-29-11 | TheFencePost.com

Milo Yield: Laugh Tracks in the Dust 8-29-11

Milo YieldThe Hi-Charge-Binner

The fall harvest season is upon us and it looks as if bountiful harvests on most farms will fail to materialize – mostly the result of the drought and the horribly high temperatures.

Under such circumstances, it’s imperative for each farmer to get every single kernel or grain into the combine bin and not lose several bushels per acre scattered out on the ground behind the combine.

My resident everything-aggie expert, county agent Avery Ware, sez that if you look on the ground behind your combine and find four kernels of corn or soybeans, or 20 grains of wheat in a square yard then you’re losing one bushel of grain per acre. 

This year with short harvests and high grain prices, those combine losses can add up to real money. You do the math for your enterprise.

Fortunately for all grain farmers, I just happen to have a New Millennium AgriTechnomics invention to prevent those losses and get every kernel/grain into the bin.

It’s a simple, inexpensive combine attachment that I merchandise as the Hi-Charge Binner, pictured with this column.

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The Hi-Charge-Binner attaches inside your combine, centered directly above the straw/stalk discharge. It’s four key elements are: (1) a tank filled with iron-fortified water; (2) an electric pump that directs a constant fine-mist spray down onto the materials preparing to exit the combine; (3) an electro-magnet and (4) an electrical disconnect that works in conjunction with a vacuum that discharges into the top of the combine bin.

Here’s how it works: As stalks/straw move toward the straw spreader, the pump sprays the iron-fortified water on the grain that your combine would toss out, but then the iron-coated grain is magnetically attracted to the electro-magnet. When the magnet is covered by grain, the magnet disconnects and the vacuum pulls the grain up to the combine bin. Those combine grain loss will be a thing of the past.

But, there’s an important bonus you get with the Hi-Charge Binner. You not only get to sell the grain that you save, but you get to sell it at a premium price.

How’s that, you ask? Folks, think about what the advertising sez on the side of any breakfast cereal you pick up in the supermarket. It sez the cereal inside is Iron-Fortified.

Just think about the profit in that niche market. You can sell your grain direct to Kellogg or Post or any other cereal maker for a premium because it’s already Iron-Fortified.

Yep, the Hi-Charge Binner is a double winner for you. Get yours now to make your fall harvest as profitable as possible.

***

The local priest, a local minister and a cowboy sat together in the local cafe and eventually the discussion turned to religion and prayer. Then it got more detailed as to the most effective physical position for prayer. 

“Kneeling and working the rosary is definitely the best way to pray,” the priest said. 

“No,” said the minister. “I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.” 

The cowboy ended the conversation by saying, “Fellas, the most fervent praying I ever did wuz when I wuz riding my pony home one evening through a pasture filled with cactus and my ol’ hoss shied and came unbuckled when a covey of quail flushed out at its feet and I was flying upside down about 6-feet above my saddle.”

***

Might as well pass along this funny that arrived recently in my e-mail box.

A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed 20-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. 

As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.  

The 20-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. 

“I’ve had a pretty good life,” the 20 proclaimed. “Why I’ve been to the National Finals Rodeo in Las Vegas, the casinos at Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even to an exclusive dude ranch in Colorado.” 

“Wow!” said the one-dollar bill. “You’ve really had an exciting life!” 

“So, tell me,” says the 20, “where have you been throughout your lifetime?” 

The one dollar bill replies, “Oh, I’ve been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church.” 

The 20-dollar bill interrupts, “What’s a church?”

***

Gotta end up the week with that one. Before I mosey along, I’ll close with these words of wisdom about prayer from Mahatma Gandhi. “In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”

Have a good ‘un.