On the Edge of Common Sense 1-18-10
There is a frequently told story by cowmen and veterinarians since herdsmen discovered fire. As I listened to a Georgia farmer recount his own personal version, I found myself imagining how the cow would feel?
“I was grazing down by the creek. Something I do every day, I think? My short term memory is going. I know I have calves. I’m not sure how many, but who keeps count. I guess they grow inside me. Maybe I eat something, or an insect bites me or it has something to do with the moon? Anyway … where was I?”
The event down by the creek.
“Oh, yeah, I was grazing down by the creek. Ya know I do have a childhood memory. It was very dark and snug. I was in my sleeping bag. It was squeezing me! I don’t know how long it lasted. I don’t know how long is long?
“Then a hand gripped me! I remember a shiny bracelet which came tight, nearly pulled my front legs out of their socket! And then I burst into the light! I never thought about eyes … or seeing. Maybe I thought I was a star-nosed mole or a potato? But the light was overwhelming! I had one of those ‘Hark the Herald Angel’ moments!”
Back to the creek.
Where you had the event.
The one down by the creek.
“Oh, that one. Well, I was grazing and began to feel a little acid reflux … then I realized cows can’t get acid reflux, they wouldn’t know it the way they regurgitate all those cuds all the time. Anyway … where was I?”
Down by the creek.
“Yes. I had terrible stomach pains, a shortness of breath, then I slipped on the bank and went down! Next thing I remember the two-legged, ball-faced upright giant frog walkers who come and disturb us now and then, were manhandling me! One had a big rubber tube and he was forcing it down my throat! It was dark. I felt dizzy. I couldn’t see! I thought I was back in my sleeping bag!
“I couldn’t understand their frog talk but one was bawling and hollering and suddenly the other one’s five-fingered front leg caught on fire! There was a terrible explosion! I imagined I was a dragon or an F-16 or an industrial strength weed burner! The sky lit up!
“And that’s all I remember, my second Hark the Herald Angels moment. That, and the bawling frog walker baptizing himself in the creek!”
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