On the Edge of Common Sense 8-31-09
There are globally astute, politically tuned, conscientiously correct people who watch C-Span and write letters to the editor. When the letter “A” is flashed before their eyes they immediately think Ahmadinejad (president of Iran), Ambassador or Al Gore. Whereas when I see the letter “A”, my mind brings up anteater, all-terrain-vehicle, and artichoke.
“B” to the world’s elite envisions Belarus, Bush, thiamine and Buckle Your Seatbelt! Me? Bass boat, Bag Balm, Border Collies and Bay horses … oh, and beer.
“C” – Them; Congress, conspiracy and caviar. Us; credit card, cowboy boots, and wild cow milking!
“D” – Them; Dept. of Defense, Doctor and Docent. Us; Dunkin’ Donuts, Deal the cards and double wide.
“E” – Them; efficient, educational and entitlement. Us; eggs and bacon, ediot, epoxy and entrepreneur.
“F” – Them; Frugal, efficacious, Philosophy and Barney Frank. Us; Flat out flat broke, flunked algebra and fishing.
“G” – Them; Government, the G-7, and Gucci. Us; bubble Gum, guns and gravy.
“H” – Them; Health Care, Halston, Hillary and House of Representatives. Us; High five! Hank the cowdog, horses and hunting pheasant.
“I” – Them; Income Tax and international envoy. Us; Independence and International Harvester.
“J” – Them; Jurisprudence, Japanese yen and John McCain. Us; Joe the Plumber, Jack in the Box and Judge Judy.
“K”- Them; 401K, North Korea, Kuwait. Us; klunker, kitchen, Krispy Kreme.
“L” – Legislative, licensed and lobbyist vs. licking the cake beaters, lotto tickets and Barcalounger.
“M” – Money, monuments, MBA and Meatless Monday vs. monkey wrench, mashed potatoes and muddy boots.
“N” – Them; Notoriety, knowledge, nose job and newshound. Us; National Finals Rodeo, Nascar and square knot.
“O” – Them; Obama and International Order. Us; Oreos, offsides and oncle.
“P” – Them: World Power. Us; Poker Tournament on ESPN.
“Q” – Quality vs. Q Tips
“R” – Regulation vs. Regular coffee
“S” – Government service vs. drive-in service
“T” – Tehran vs. Trout Stream
“U” – United Nations vs. Uncle Ben’s Rice
“V” – Vice President What’s his Name vs. Vanna White
“W” – World Peace vs. Hot Wings
“X” – Xeriscaping vs. Marks the spot where you are on the mall map.
The letter “Y” for them; Yelling at politicians. For Us; Yawning at politicians.
And the letter “Z” – Them; zipping back and forth like water skippers. Us; sawing zzzzzzzzzzzz’s
At least we have both sides covered!
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