Piojos! Lice! The biting kind. You see ‘em everywhere
They’re thick as thieves on cattle’s backs and crawlin’ in their hair!
And ticks the size of Tootsie Pops transfuse a cow a day!
And two can pack a yearlin’ off or pull a two-horse sleigh!
A team of scabies mites can slick, a pen of weaners clean
And make you wish you’d never heard of two-dip quarantine!
But sheep don’t get off easier, there’s nasal bots and keds
Plus maggots from a screwworm strike that every herder dreads.
There’s deer flies, blow flies, horn flies, house, face flies, horse flies, warbles.
There’s pinworms, hookworms, lungworms, tapes, nasty, horrid, horribles!
As if them buggers ain’t enough row croppin’ can be worse!
It’s hard to make a cotton crop if ballworms get there first!
And if you think I’m blowin’ smoke try growin’ grapes or pears
When aphids, thrips and nematodes all take their rightful shares.
They took ol’ Noah at his word, “Go forth and multiply!”
But man has stepped into the breach and raised the battle cry!
We’re fighting back with pesticides, with dips and sprays and dust.
With tags and bags and fogging guns, “Insecticides or Bust!”
We applicate them airily, we mix it from a sack,
We give it in a shot nowdays or pour it down their back.
We hire consultants left and right to give us sound advice
So we can fight this pestilence of worms and flies and lice
We tell ourselves God gave us brains to halt their ill effect
And, though he made all living things he gave us intellect.
So, how come we can’t beat these bugs? Me thinks we’ve too much pride.
Though God made us, remember he ain’t always on our side!❖